My Angel Is Out of Their Mind

Darkness.

Absolute, impenetrable darkness.

And the first thing that crossed my mind wasn't "Oh God, where am I?" No. My very first thought was:

"I—AM—AN—IDIOT."

I mean, let's be real here. If an absurdly gorgeous girl appears in front of you, speaking in cryptic riddles, flashing a smile that makes you want to either embrace life or instantly rethink all your priorities, and then offers you a life-altering choice on the spot…

What should you do?

❌ Correct answer: Tell her to get lost and run like hell.

✅ My answer: "Ooh, sure, let's do it!"

Brilliant. Absolutely genius. Bravo, me.

I should have been suspicious the moment she said the choice was super important and irreversible—all while laughing like it was Friday night after her fifth beer.

But no. I decided to "think," to "analyze," and in the end, I picked a class that… broke the entire system.

That's my curse in life: the moment I try to play by the rules, the game crashes.

And now I'm here—in nowhere, in nothing, in pure "what the hell is happening."

— …Alright, where's my new world? — I grumbled into the void.

No answer, obviously.

— Where are my epic abilities? Where's the magic bursting around me? Where's the dramatic intro with some deep narrator voice telling me I'm the chosen one and the fate of the world depends on me?!

Silence.

I sighed.

— …At least tell me there's Wi-Fi.

Still nothing.

— …Okay, seriously now. Am I even alive?

Good question.

I tried to move.…Nothing.

I tried to see something.…Nothing.

I tried to take a deep breath—And that's when I realized…

❌ I had no lungs.

❌ No body.

❌ Not even eyelids to blink!

— Oh, fantastic.

I have to admit, even for my usual streak of bad luck, this was a new one.

And as if the universe was just waiting for the perfect moment to mess with me even more, a familiar voice full of amusement echoed in my head:

— Oh, quit whining, you're just loading like an old laptop.

I twitched. Mentally.

— ANGEL.

— Oh, he recognizes me! — she sang, clearly pleased with herself.

— WHAT IS HAPPENING?!

— Well, technically… — she paused dramatically. — You're… uh… nowhere. Yet.

— Nowhere?!

— Yup. You're kinda… well… still in the loading process.

— …Are you telling me the system doesn't even know what to do with me?!

— Weeelll… um… yeah.

I froze.

— ANGEL.

— What?

— MAYBE YOU COULD HAVE MENTIONED THIS BEFORE I AGREED?!

— Oh, come on, — her voice was as casual as if we were just discussing what ice cream to buy. — Who even reads the terms before clicking "I agree"?

— I SHOULD HAVE!

— Too late, buddy. Your reflection time is over. Buckle up, because…

And then, the world exploded.

Not figuratively. Literally.

The darkness vanished.

And I started falling.

— …Wait, where the hell are my seatbelts?!

The void was gone.

And immediately, I realized two things:

1️⃣ I was falling.2️⃣ I WAS DEFINITELY FALLING.

The wind howled past my ears, the ground was rushing up at me way too fast.

— AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!

I flailed my arms like an idiot, as if that would somehow slow me down. Spoiler: it didn't.

The wind slammed into my face, my stomach was in freefall mode, and somewhere way up in the sky, a way-too-amused voice called out:

— Oh, quit screaming like someone just offered you a corporate job!

— ANGEL, I'M ABOUT TO BECOME A PANCAKE!!!

— Oh, really? Did you actually read the terms and conditions?

— WHO EVEN READS THOSE?!

— See? And yet you're yelling at me, — she giggled.

By now, I could make out details on the ground—hills, trees, a massive stone bridge that I was hurtling toward at full speed.

— OH CRAP, A BRIDGE!!!

— Nice, right? Medieval architecture and all that…

— I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE BRIDGE, I'M ABOUT TO CRASH INTO IT!!!

— Ugh, you just don't know how to appreciate the moment…

At that moment, my entire life flashed before my eyes.

School years.University.Countless sleepless nights gaming.Endless procrastination.

ALL OF THAT—JUST TO BECOME A SPLATTER ON SOME OLD STONEWORK?!

— ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, I'LL SAVE YOU, STOP SCREAMING! — the angel finally gave in.

SNAP.

The world froze.

I was still falling, but now… slowly.

Like someone had turned on "soft landing mode" in a video game, my body gently drifted onto the bridge, barely even scraping my knees against the stone.

I was alive.

…I WAS ALIVE?!

I snapped my eyes open, panting hard, staring up at the sky.

— W-what… was that?!

The angel sat on the bridge's railing, swinging her legs playfully.

— That's called "Idiot-Proof Protection Mode." It automatically activates when a newbie is about to ruin his experience too quickly.

I tried to come up with a response, but at that moment, a massive screen suddenly popped up in front of me.

🔳 APPEARANCE CUSTOMIZATION 🔳

✨ Choose Your Look! ✨

I stared at the screen.

— …You're serious?

The angel nodded.— Of course. New world, new look, right?

I squinted.— This is just because I looked like a boring office worker, isn't it?

— Oooooh, you said it, not me!

I rolled my eyes and turned back to the presets.

But before I could pick anything, a thought hit me.

— Wait… how do I even look right now?

I tried running a hand over my face… and immediately realized I couldn't feel anything.

— Uh…

I tried again.

Nothing.

— Hold on… do I even have a body?!

The angel glanced at me, then let out a small hum.

— Ehh… technically… not really.

— WHAT?!

She lazily waved a hand.

— Oh, relax. You're in a transitional state right now, so you're just floating in a neutral shell.

— A shell? You mean I'm just… a floating blank model?!

— Well, if that makes you feel better…

I tried again—to feel something, anything—my face, my hair, my clothes. Nothing. It was just like the darkness I'd been stuck in before.

— I'm not… a ghost, am I?

— Well… depends on how you look at it.

I stared at her.

— Angel.

She rolled her eyes.

— Fine, fine, you're not a ghost. You just… don't have a form yet.

I swallowed.

— That somehow sounds even worse.

Well, nothing I could do about it now.

I took a deep breath (or at least pretended to), straightened up (as much as someone without a body could), and turned back to the preset list.

Started scrolling.

And then…

— What the…?

I stared at the description for "Random Generation."

[🟥 Random Generation] (Could be a tail. Could be three eyes. Could be everything at once. Good luck!)

I slowly turned to the angel.

— Explain.

She smiled innocently.

— Well, you picked an unconventional path, so here's the result! "Random Generation" fully trusts the system settings!

I squinted at her.

— So you're telling me I could end up with… any kind of body? Anything?!

— Yep!

— And no one knows what it'll be?!

— Well… not exactly.

I froze.

— What do you mean, "not exactly"?

She cleared her throat.

— Well, the system has, let's say… favorite templates.

— And what kind of templates are we talking about?

The angel gave me a sly smile.

— Wanna find out?

I narrowed my eyes.

— Not a chance.

She sighed dramatically.

— Wow, you're no fun at all.

I scrolled further down.

The next option somehow looked even more suspicious.

[🟩 Anime Protagonist] (Guaranteed at least three love interests. No way back.)

I nearly choked on nothing.

— What the hell?

The angel giggled.

— Cool, right?

I snapped my head toward her.

— Tell me. "No way back"—that's a joke, right?

— Hmmm… — she tapped her chin as if deep in thought. — I guess we'll find out!

I hurriedly scrolled past before she could say anything else.

And then…

— You've got to be kidding me.

I stared at another option:

[🟧 Goblin] (Your pockets are always empty, but your spirit is high!)

I had no idea where to even start.

The angel burst out laughing.

— Oh, pick the goblin!

I slowly turned to her.

— You're serious?

— Why not? It's fun! Imagine: small, agile, always optimistic! And plus… — she leaned in conspiratorially, — nobody ever takes you seriously. Think of all the scams you could pull off!

I stared at her for a long time.

Then at the screen.

Then back at her.

— Angel.

— Mmm?

— I'm not being a goblin.

— Ugh, there you go, killing the fun again.

I buried my face in my hands (or… whatever was supposed to be my hands), took a very deep breath, and muttered:

— I need time.

— Oh, come on!

— Angel. I refuse to spend the rest of my life with goblin ears.

She sighed and shrugged.

— Fiiine, take your time. Just don't take too long, or the system might assume you're lagging and pick for you.

I slowly lowered my hands.

— WHAT?!

The angel giggled.

— Relax, relax, you're still good. For now.

I looked back at the preset list.

Alright.

I needed to think carefully.

This was not an easy choice.

But one thing was certain:

I was NOT going to be a goblin.