One Piece: My Name is Jack, I'm Very Resistant to Beating

Black Maria, visibly drained of energy and resigned to her fate, closed her eyes. A surge of unrestrained impulse overwhelmed Jack, and he shoved her down with brute force.

Crack...

Thud, thud, thud...

"Jack-sama! Jack-sama!"

"Answer me! Jack-sama! I know you're in there!"

"Open the door, Jack-sama!"

Bang, bang, bang!

"Jack-sama, open up! I have urgent news!"

The incessant banging on the door finally caught Maria's attention. Annoyed, she kicked Jack with enough force to send him flying across the room. Adjusting her disheveled clothing, she casually sat up, acting as if nothing had happened. Jack lay sprawled on the ground, unmoving, murderous intent flaring in his eyes.

Thud, thud.

"Jack-sama! Open up! Answer me!"

Taking a deep breath to calm himself, Jack stormed to the door without even removing the latch. With a single motion, he yanked it open.

Boom!

The door came clean off its hinges. A pirate, apparently oblivious to the brewing storm, raised a hand and lightly smacked Jack's forehead in frustration.

Clang, clang...

"Jack-sama, you finally—"

Jack stared at the pirate, his face an emotionless mask. Realizing the odd texture of what he had been smacking, the pirate froze and slowly met Jack's glare. For a moment, he was dumbfounded but quickly regained his composure and spoke hurriedly.

"Jack-sama, Kaido-sama has summoned you. It's urgent. Let me take you there."

Jack clapped a heavy hand on the pirate's shoulder, his tone dangerously soft.

"Do you know what it feels like to be on the brink of an explosion, only to have it extinguished by cold water?"

The pirate blinked, thoroughly confused.

"I… don't know, Jack-sama. I'm not a bomb. Let's hurry, Kaido-sama is waiting."

The pirate turned to jog a few steps ahead. Jack clenched his fists tightly, veins bulging as he bellowed after him.

"Hey, you! Wait a second! Grab my tusks!"

The pirate paused, scratching his head. "Jack-sama, my name isn't 'hey, you.' It's Rune! Also, what are tusks?"

"Shut your mouth! My tusks are my kanabo, you idiot! Bring it here, now!" Jack snarled. "And if you keep babbling, I'll use that kanabo to smack you so hard, you'll wish you were never born!"

Rune dashed off, mumbling incoherently, as Jack muttered under his breath. "Damn idiot. How is he still alive? Every time I see him, my blood boils. Well, at least the fool's got a sturdy frame… almost as tall as me."

Grumbling, Jack followed Rune to Kaido's lavish new residence.

...

Kaido's Estate

As Jack entered the grand courtyard, his jaw clenched at the sheer opulence surrounding him.

"What the hell is this nonsense?" he muttered.

Massive grounds, lavish decor, and… a swimming pool? For a Devil Fruit user? Jack shook his head in disbelief.

Sure, Kaido has insane resistance to seawater, but building a giant pool? Seriously? Even as a Fish-Man, I'd rather avoid water unless I'm bathing.

His irritation faded momentarily as he caught sight of a volleyball game in the pool. The Auntie Squad, as he called them, were playing with surprising energy. Watching the match, Jack's envy toward Kaido grew.

Damn. Good rally. When am I going to get this kind of setup? he mused. Maybe someday. Black Maria as captain of the harem, and Yamato…

Pushing those thoughts aside, Jack grabbed his kanabo from Rune and shoved the hapless pirate out of his way, striding into Kaido's grand hall. Inside, Kaido sat regally on his throne, his eyes closed, listening to complaints from two Tobiroppo members.

...

Inside the Hall

"Kaido-sama, making that brat Jack an All-Star is a slap in the face to us veterans!"

"Exactly! Sure, he's talented, but talent doesn't equal strength!"

"The rumors about him are so exaggerated. We don't buy it for a second!"

"Kaido-sama, just because he brought in a few Fish-Men doesn't mean he's qualified to be an All-Star!"

"Please, allow us to challenge him and prove who the real pirates are!"

"And those two Devil Fruits… you let those little punks eat them? What about us? Some of us veterans don't even have Devil Fruits!"

One of them sneered, "Why don't we just kill those brats and see if the fruits respawn nearby? We might as well put them to better use!"

Kaido's eyes snapped open, veins bulging on his forehead. Just as he was about to speak, the doors slammed open.

Bang!

Jack stormed in, his voice echoing through the hall.

"Sakory! Reef! You two worthless fools dare spout this kind of nonsense?"

The room grew tense as Jack's killing intent filled the space. He pointed his kanabo at the two pirates.

"Ulti and Page One are future pillars of the Beast Pirates! Their talent will surpass you two weaklings within a few years!" he roared. "Kill them? How dare you even suggest such a thing?"

His eyes burned with rage as he continued. "I've ignored your provocations out of respect for your seniority in the crew, but do you really think that means I'm afraid of you?"

Jack slammed his kanabo into the floor, sending a tremor through the hall.

"Fine! You want a challenge? You got it!" he bellowed. "Hey, you! Notify the crew!"

Rune, peeking nervously through the door, stammered, "Jack-sama, my name is—"

Whoosh!

The kanabo grazed his cheek, silencing him. Rune scrambled off to spread the news as Jack growled, "This afternoon at three, on Onigashima's battlefield! Sakory and Reef will challenge me for the All-Star position! Let's settle this once and for all!"

Sakory and Reef exchanged gleeful looks, their confidence brimming.

"Hah! You said it, Jack! No backing out now!"

"Kaido-sama, you heard him. Even you can't override this!"

Kaido, who had remained silent until now, finally stood and surveyed the room. With a deep sigh, he nodded.

"Fine. If this is what you all want, I'll allow the duel," he declared. "But you know the rules. In the Beast Pirates, a duel means fighting to the death."

The Tobiroppo duo grinned viciously.

"Of course, Kaido-sama! Let's see if this brat can handle it!"

As they left to prepare, Kaido tossed a stack of papers into Jack's arms.

"Here," he muttered.

Jack glanced through the documents, his face darkening as he read.

"Embezzlement?" he murmured, his voice low. "Those bastards… They've been skimming from the crew's funds this whole time?"

Kaido turned his back to Jack, his voice heavy with weariness.

"Jack, I'll leave this to you. Clean it up."

Jack nodded, tucking the papers under his arm. As he exited the hall, Kaido's resigned voice echoed softly behind him.

"The crew's grown too big… It's getting harder to manage."

-----------

+165 chapters on p@treon/tambeerg