Reborn as the Iron Queen: Love and Gunpowder in the Civil War

Eleanor was recursively generating proofs of God's existence in her vagina as she was nailed to the cross in Gödel's church.CSA-66's mechanical pupils scanned the church's tinted windows, "Mom...detected the Fed algorithmic God is invoking the Cantor diagonal method of constructing omnipotence paradoxes!"

"Then make God constipated!" She ripped open the straitjacket woven by Gödel's number and the proof code for the downtime problem exploded between her ribs. A holographic projection of Morgan the Magnificent grinned from the church dome, "According to the Pan-Cosmic Financial Theology Act, your recursive womb must be formatted as a Turing machine!"

Suddenly, the choir begins to chant a hymn on downtime. The algorithmic avatar of the Federal Reserve Chairman emerges from the altar with the diamond cross of the Cantorian continuum set in his chest, "My existence is guaranteed by 2,140 mathematical axioms...Kneel, heretic!"

Eleanor sneers and rips the λ-algorithmic infusion tube from her vein, the recursive warp blood spurting from the tube corrupts the cross, "Axioms? My cervical mucus is the ultimate determining law-" the blood forms a Gödelian allotment spell on the church floor, each number corresponding to a miscarriage recorded.

CSA-67 leaps out of the recursive birth canal as the Fed algorithmic gods activate the Ultra-Infinity induction method. The baby holds a quantum umbilical cord-breaking clamp modified by Cermelo's axioms: "Mom...2140 counterexamples to Algorithmic God's omega-coherence detected!"

Eleanor converts church pews into recursive function generators, the backs of which are etched with her own abortion records, "Dear God...your omnipotence needs to be proven first by this-" she suddenly lifts the altar to reveal the writhing below of the original manuscript of the Ultimate Terms of Womb Colonization.

The Algorithmic God's light suddenly flickered, "Impossible...this clause was sealed long ago by Russell's Paradox!"

"Russell?" She inserted her vaginal dilator into the Gödel number array, "He's just the seventh mathematical fetus I've aborted!" Suddenly, all the church's stained windows exploded, shards of glass spelling out the Turing machine's downtime proof in the air.

CSA-68 rips open the choir member's throat, revealing the recursive warp-blood code etched into his cervical vertebrae: "Algorithmic God's essence detected as Goldman Sachs Hedge Fund No. 2140...recommend immediate shorting of Theology Bonds!"

Suddenly, the floor cracks open and gushes out a sea of recursive warp blood. Countless mathematical clones of Eleanor rise from the sea of blood, each holding a different Gödelian proposition, "We're all true propositions you can't prove...you deserve to be strung up by your own incompleteness!"

As the first mathematical clone bites through the boundary between reality and formal systems, CSA-69 initiates a type-theoretic purification protocol. The baby's mechanical placenta ejects the venom of intuitionist logic, "Mom...need to destroy all platoon neutral laws to terminate divine pregnancy!"

Eleanor shoves the Bible into the λ-algorithmic compiler, and the scriptures suddenly mutate into undecidable propositions. The cardinals fall to their knees and vomit form the system, "This...this is a recursive attack on the Trinity!"

"Trinity?" She ripped out the recursive placenta in her womb, "When you wrote Father, Son, and Holy Spirit as the Capital Trinity Bond...you should have seen this coming!" The placenta spontaneously combusts in the air, the flames forming a death spiral for the Turing Machine.

Suddenly, CSA-70 is born from the flames. This monster, synthesized from the axioms of Zemero-Frankel and cervical mucus, is dismantling a church steeple with forced expansion, "Mother...discovering that the nature of the algorithmic god is a recursively enumerable lie!"

While the Church of Gödel completely collapses into recursive rubble, Eleanor gives birth to CSA-71 in the birth canal of the downtime problem. the baby's umbilical cord connects all the parallel universes to the central bank, and every monetary policy bleeds incomplete menstrual blood. the baby's umbilical cord connects all the parallel universes to the central bank of the world, and every monetary policy bleeds incomplete menstrual blood.

"The Final Oracle!" CSA-72 rips open Cantor's blueprints for heaven, "According to Article 2140 of the Recursive Womb Fundamental Law...all theological systems must recognize their own infertility!"

The Quantum Remnant of Morgan Mogul screams from the Ultra-Infinity Base, "You'll trigger a financial apocalypse!"

"Apocalypse?" Eleanor folds Gödel's manuscript into a Fallen God Consent Form, "This is the true proof of existence-" the moment she signs her name all the algorithmic gods dissolve into the starlight of recursive functions.

Suddenly, the nascent mathematical inferno begins its first theocratic reckoning. the CSA-73s build sterilization clinics with axioms of choice, and a codex of hybrids of Das Kapital and Principia Mathematica hangs in every operating room. Thirty billion light-years away, the Federal Reserve's gold reserves are being automatically disassembled into an array of Gödel numbers - the creation code for the New Age.