Re:Zero kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu web novel

　When Subaru woke up, the first thing he noticed was the excruciating pain all over his body.

　The pain from my neck up and face was particularly severe. My left cheek, the area around my right eye, my molars, my front teeth, my left ear - the list goes on and on, with scars from the pain all over the place.

　Exploring the inside of his mouth with his tongue, Subaru realizes that he is missing two molars, one front tooth, and one canine. He then opens his eyes and looks around, realizing that his right eye is swollen shut.

"R-re-..."

　Subaru's mouth spun with a cacophony of bleeding and missing teeth.

　With every breath, the cold echoed through the nerves of my teeth, and even though I tried to breathe through my nose, it was blocked by the dried blood. I gasped and spat out the blood in my mouth.

"You mean... you didn't die?"

　Dragging his body along with the extensive damage, Subaru was reminded of the fact that he had escaped death from a truly dire situation.

　With only half his vision, Subaru found himself lying on his side in a dimly lit corridor. There was no sign of anyone. He remembered the conversation he had just had before he lost consciousness.

"Elsa, uh..."

　not present.

　At least, she was not within Subaru's sight.

　She was a woman whose job it was to lurk in the shadows. It was possible that she had mastered the technique of not being detected even when within her field of vision - but there was no reason for her to make use of it.

　Elsa was gone. Gone. At least, without killing Subaru.

"For what purpose... No, rather than that..."

　Every time he moved his mouth, blood flowed, and Subaru spat it out in annoyance as he shook his head. He moved each part of his body, trying to determine which parts were painful and which parts were unusable, and then he noticed something.

　--That there was a warm presence in my arms, breathing softly.

"--Rem."

　A lovely blue-haired girl. A girl who continues to sleep, inspiring Subaru.

　Rem's heart was beating quietly in Subaru's arms. Her shallow breathing, the blood flowing through her body, and her reddened skin - all proof that the rhythm of life was continuing.

"――――"

　He was so moved that he tightened his arms around her.

　Taking advantage of the lack of reaction, I embraced her, enjoying the warmth of her small body, as if trying to feel through her skin the proof that she was alive.

"Why did you leave without killing me or Rem?"

　As he holds Rem in his arms, Subaru reminisces about the strangeness of Elsa's behavior.

　He was a murderer who had killed Petra, Frederica, and even wiped out Beatrice, yet left without taking the lives of Subaru and Rem who were also present.

　Certainly, just before he lost consciousness, Subaru had begged Elsa for Rem's life. Elsa's response could be interpreted as consent, but could you really say that she dutifully followed her orders?

　It was hard to imagine how someone with a personality disorder like the "Gut Hunter" could understand his thoughts, but perhaps that was the reason why Rem was spared.

"If that's the case... why did I...?"

　I thought I was going to be killed.

　At the very least, Elsa must have wielded the knife with clear malice towards Subaru. The shattered parts, the carved skin and flesh, clearly conveyed that to Subaru through pain.

　But what is Elsa's reason for letting Subaru live?

"Anyway, for now..."

　"There's no way she could understand," Subaru shook his head, and with strained effort, his aching body lifted Rem into his arms.

　Holding the light Rem in his arms, he looked at the end of the corridor - where Frederica's body still lay as if abandoned - and decided that he had to do something.

　--First of all, I must mourn Frederica and Petra.

"If you've accepted that the world is going to end, then there's no point in doing something like that..."

　He muttered to himself, mocking his own actions, calling them sentimental, irrational, and extremely shameless.

　Subaru has already decided that he will start this world over with his own death.

　He had lost far too much. He had gained some things, but he had not been able to protect any of the things he wanted to protect with those things. Subaru had lost just as much as he had before, if not more. Subaru no longer had the courage to live in this world where he had lost so much.

　If I could pay with my life to get it back, I would have no hesitation.

　This world is ending.

　Petra's death, Frederica's death, Beatrice's death, everything can be redone.

　His promise to Petra, his apology for doubting Frederica, and a definite answer to Beatrice's lament would all be delivered in the next world.

　If you accept that, then there's really no point in mourning their deaths.

　If only Subaru could endure the sentimentality he was leaving behind in a disappearing world, then it shouldn't remain in anyone's memory.

　ーーIf he could be so persuasive, then surely Natsuki Subaru would be able to overcome this world of loops much sooner.

"Resolve, determination, ability... really, no matter how hard I try, I lack everything. Why am I so weak? Right, Rem?"

　There was no answer from the girl in his arms.

　For Subaru right now, the only place he could vent his weaknesses, the only place he could show them, was in front of the sleeping girl, this was the only place he could do so.

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　--Subaru found this just a few minutes after he had decided to hold a memorial service for Petra and the others at the mansion.

"What is this?"

　Seeing the object enshrined before him, Subaru let out a silly noise.

　But no one could blame Subaru for being like that. The object before Subaru's eyes was so mysterious, and he had no idea what it was.

　A pink lump of meat - that seems like the closest way to describe it.

　A round lump of flesh, misshapen like a mud ball made by a child. That description alone should be enough to convey how strange it was, but there was more to what had puzzled Subaru.

"huge--"

　Simply put, the mass of meat was just too huge.

　It was so big that one had to look up, and the weight of the meat was obvious from its appearance. Its color and texture were similar to the fresh pork and chicken meat one would find in the meat section. However, Subaru didn't have the courage to touch it to confirm its quality.

　There were roughly twelve of these huge chunks of meat as far as the eye could see, all roughly the same size, scattered here and there for all to see.

"What is this...?"

　Confused and unable to come up with an answer, Subaru asked the same question several times.

　Then he turned his head.

"Where have all the villagers gone?"

　Subaru muttered in shock, surrounded by lumps of flesh in the center of the deserted village of Arlam.

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　--Subaru had come down to Arlam Village to ask for help in mourning Petra and Frederica, and above all to inform her family of Petra's death.

　I was prepared to be punched and insulted.

　It was the same sentimentality as at the mansion. Here too, Subaru was able to avoid the pain. He hid Petra's death, and restarted the world without informing the villagers.

　Subaru would have been saved if he had simply hidden the responsibility of causing Petra's death to himself and been afraid of the guilt.

　However, when I thought about whether I could forgive myself for doing that, I realized it was impossible.

"In the end, it's just self-satisfaction."

　I planned to tell my family about Petra and then bury them both.

　Subaru didn't know what to do about Beatrice's funeral. A spirit leaves no corpse behind. Her almost refreshing disappearance robbed Subaru of the reality of her death.

　Maybe――yes, I was still holding on to it.

　With these thoughts, neither positive nor negative, Subaru descended upon Arlam Village.

　He takes the sleeping Rem with him to look after her during the burial.

　And so, when Subaru arrived at the village and was wandering around looking for villagers, he came across the lumps of meat mentioned earlier.

"--No one here."

　Subaru came to a conclusion as he temporarily placed Rem in his arms under the eaves of a house and ran around the village.

　The sweat running down his forehead had dissolved the blood that had hardened, leaving his face stained red with spots, leaving him in a terrible state. If the villagers were to see him now, it was only natural that they would greet him with screams of delight.

　However, the residents who were supposed to scream at the sight of Subaru were nowhere to be found, and Subaru sat down next to the sleeping Rem, at a loss as to what to do.

　--When Elsa had disappeared from the mansion, it was hard not to think that it could be true.

　It was Elsa who immediately decided to kill everyone involved in the incident in the royal capital. Or maybe she wasn't satisfied with just saving the face of the mansion, and would go down to Arlam Village and unleash her murderous blade.

　Subaru had come up with various reasons for coming all the way to Arlam Village, and had some sense of unease about this. However, what greeted him when he got off was completely unexpected and even worse than he'd anticipated.

　Scattered chunks of flesh and no villagers to be seen.

　Naturally, unpleasant thoughts rose in his mind, but Subaru unconsciously ignored them.

"If there's no one here, there's no need for me... I need to quickly hold a funeral for the two of them."

　Making some excuses, Subaru picked up Rem and left the village.

　The huge, motionless masses of flesh remained as they were. I felt no remorse for leaving them there. I didn't want to leave them there, even in the back of my mind.

　My head felt like it was going to explode.

※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※※ ※

　The burial of Petra and Frederica was much easier than expected.

　After preparing the two bodies for death, I wiped their blood-stained skin and faces with a clean cloth. Feeling sorry for them, I changed them into new clothes. Naturally, I felt no shame in my actions.

　More than that, as I put my clothes on their cold, stiff bodies, I was seized by an inexplicable emotion: I wanted to cry, but the depths of my eyes became dry.

"...At least rest in peace."

　Subaru prays for the peace of the two from the soil he has covered them with, and speaks a soothing message to them.

　Subaru had no idea how to pray in this world, let alone how to send off the dead in his original world. All of his relatives were still alive, and Subaru had never attended a funeral, nor had he ever been interested in such ceremonies, being a non-religious Japanese person.

　I now regret that.

　--I felt extremely regretful that I had not practiced the etiquette and language required to see them off.

"I'm sorry for causing you so much trouble. Thank you for your help."

　As Subaru reached out his hand, the jet-black earth dragon brought its snout close to his finger.

　Even though her limbs were soiled with the lumps of earth she had dug up, Patrasche came snuggling up to Subaru, concerned for him.

　Finding Patrasche, who had escaped the disaster by staying in the stables, Subaru enlisted her help in burying Petra and the others. Clever, she quickly understood Subaru's clumsy plea, and, next to him as he dug the earth with a shovel-like tool, dug a hole for Frederica, who was quite large.

　The jet-black earth dragon ran powerfully across the ground, its feet turning into the wind and covered in mud, yet it was still noble and beautiful. I was once again deeply grateful for its existence.

　Subaru dug the hole to bury Petra in. Even though she was small, he wanted to make sure she didn't feel cramped, so he used the unfamiliar tools to the point that the skin on his palms was torn several times.

　After throwing dirt over her and watching Petra disappear from sight, Subaru finally couldn't hold back the tears and they ran down his cheeks, but he didn't wipe them away until they were dry.

　Frederica also saw him off, and after making a simple grave marker, the burial was considered complete.

　Even though I had finished a task, the weight on my shoulders only got heavier rather than lighter.

"...There's no point in me being here anymore."

　He muttered quietly.

　The irreparable tragedy at the mansion has already ended.

　I will etch the whole series of events firmly into my memory. I will also etch the regret of having to see them off like this into my memory, so that I will never forget it.

　I will definitely erase this regret that has been engraved in my soul the next time I get the chance.

　Only then could Subaru take responsibility for their deaths.

"Once we've confirmed what needs to be confirmed, let's return to Sanctuary. --Rem, I can't leave you behind, so let's go together."

　The sun is slowly starting to fade.

　The world was getting dark, and if Subaru's perception was correct, it would be the third night. If he made sure of everything and left the mansion early tomorrow morning, he would be able to return to the Sanctuary by the fourth night.

　There was only a day and a half left until the fateful sixth day. This was also Subaru's first time leaving the Sanctuary and then returning.

　They protect the mansion and break through the "Sanctuary."

　These are the two hurdles that must be overcome, so it's essential that you gain experience before attempting to clear the level.

　What changes will come to Sanctuary while Subaru is away?

　It is likely that the same sequence of events will occur as when Subaru was hit by Garfiel and imprisoned. If that is the case, then on the fifth night, Otto and Ram will likely begin to move to help the refugees of Aram Village evacuate.

"Before that happens..."

　I'm also worried about Garfiel, who I left behind.

　Subaru used brute force and used Lewes as a shield to stop him from attacking. It is hard to imagine how much this angered him.

　He must also inform Garfiel of the death of his sister, Frederica. It was Subaru's mistake to suspect her of being a traitor and not take any steps to help her.

　I'll have to accept Garfiel's wrath and bear it all.

"Let's return to Sanctuary. --I want to see Emilia."

　Thinking of the many events that had occurred to him, Subaru absentmindedly let out his true feelings.

　It may have been something close to a complaint.

　But now, I honestly wanted to do that.

　I want to see Emilia's face. I want to touch her.

　Subaru's heart, which is currently feeling like it's about to break, needs to be healed by realizing Emilia's presence.

　Subaru was so exhausted that he had to think that.

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　--Subaru first noticed something odd when he entered the forest close to the Sanctuary.

　He straddled Patrasche, holding the sleeping Rem close to his chest, and the two of them rode together. It was a nerve-wracking position, threatening to lose balance, but thankfully Rem didn't move a muscle, and Patrasche perfectly covered for her master's incompetence, allowing them to continue on their journey without any problems.

　As expected, he was unable to run at full speed like he had when he returned to the mansion, and it took him about seventeen hours to get back, and it was already night on the fourth day.

　The planned time to spend in the Sanctuary, a day and a half, could be considered shrunk to just a day.

　It was a necessary use of time. Of course, I don't blame Patrasche.

　However, as Subaru carefully made his way along the road, he had not anticipated anything.

「Seriously, this has to be a joke… What on earth is going on…!」

　On the path to the Sanctuary, in the forest where the barrier existed - halfway through the journey, a stinging cold began to surround the world.

　The green leaves of the trees were covered with frost, and the trunks were covered with a thin layer of white ice. Moisture in the depressions in the ground had frozen, forming small patches of ice here and there.

　The temperature had dropped abnormally - like mid-winter, or even colder, so Subaru held Rem tighter and looked around, breathing out white clouds of air.

　The forest was still as deserted as ever, with few signs of life, but even the life force of the trees was being lost in the face of the cold. The fact that the forest had not made any preparations for the extreme cold was the best evidence that this chill was not a natural phenomenon at all.

"It's so cold that everything turns white before my eyes... I have a bad feeling about this, Patrasche."

"――――"

"Hey, Patrasche?"

　Driven by a bad feeling in his heart, he tries to hurry Patrasche up, but there is no response from him.

　I frowned and looked down at my beloved dragon, and saw that the jet-black earth dragon had stopped in its tracks and was breathing heavily and with great difficulty.

"Patrasche!"

　Panicking, Subaru tugged on the reins and called out to Patrasche to stop, then dismounted and reached for her neck. Patrasche's neck had the texture of rock, and although it felt roughly the same as usual, it was frighteningly cold. Then Subaru noticed.

"Could earth dragons really be weak to the cold...? They look like reptiles, how do they handle in the winter?"

　Many reptiles, such as lizards and snakes, hibernate during the winter to survive the cold. Patrasche, a land dragon with many similar appearances, may have had the same characteristics as those reptiles.

　In that case, marching in this cold would be nothing less than a suicidal act.

　If Subaru's imagination was correct, then the closer he got to the center of the Sanctuary, the more severe the cold would become.

"It'd be tough to go together... right? At this rate, I have a feeling that the earth dragons remaining in the 'Sanctuary' are in danger as well."

　Subaru strokes Patrasche's hand, whose body is trembling. It's probably nothing more than a soothing sensation, but Patrasche clings to the touch of Subaru's palm.

　Heading to the Sanctuary without her would mean the passage of even more time, but even if they continued going together, the best they could hope for would be that they would both collapse along the way.

"Patrasche, I'm sorry but I have to ask you to leave the forest... no, could you please return to the mansion?"

　Subaru's decision and instructions made Patrasche snort sadly.

　However, she was clever and understood Subaru's thoughts, her own physical condition, and the state of the forest ahead. After several soothing words, she eventually gave up resisting and bowed her head to Subaru.

　Giving her a firm pat on the head, Subaru took out some clothing and rations from the luggage he had given to Patrasche, and prepared himself for the cold by putting on as much as he could. He did the same for Rem, dressed her in a jacket, tied the luggage around her body, and picked her up.

"The path to the Sanctuary is straight... right?"

"――――"

"Don't look so worried. I'm more worried about you. I'm sorry for not realising how bad things were. I'm so sorry for not being considerate."

　Subaru bowed his head, and Patrasche whined softly as if to say there was no need for that. Then, Patrasche set off out of the forest, and Subaru watched him off until he was out of sight.

　Along the way, he didn't look back even once. The earth dragon was a combination of nobility that didn't want to show any regrets, and kindness that prevented Subaru from feeling guilty.

　I truly believe that this dragon is more than suitable for Subaru.

"I'm sure Patrasche will be able to get out of the forest safely. …Worrying about this is much more important than worrying about that, damn it."

　Picking up Rem, Subaru made his way along the frost-covered ground, his feet making a commotion.

　Breathless and exposed to a chill that would make the roots of my teeth chatter if I let my guard down, I continued forward, heading towards the ``sanctuary.''

"What happened, Emilia..."

　While calling out the name of the girl who must surely be at the center of this cold storm.

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　Forcing his numb legs forward, moving his lips that had forgotten to tremble, he took shallow, repeated breaths. Pushing open his eyelashes that had stuck together and refused to open, Subaru made his way through the forest, somehow managing to keep his field of vision clear through the white mist.

　--The extreme cold that enveloped the Sanctuary was far greater than Subaru's lukewarm imagination.

　With each step deeper, it feels like the temperature drops.

　Subaru had long since lost all feeling in his skin, and the only thing supporting his body was a ghostly sense of mission, a will to move forward,

"――――"

　This was possible thanks to Rem's presence in my arms, who continued to show constant vital signs, so much so that I couldn't tell if she was being influenced by the outside environment or not.

　It should be heading straight for the 'Sanctuary'.

　I can't see with my own eyes if my steps are going in the right direction, but I can only trust that I am, as I feel the bitter cold intensify.

　The snow had piled up to my shins, and the forest had suddenly taken on a completely wintery appearance.

　An influence strong enough to change the world itself. Subaru knew that.

"――――"

　His lips trembled, and he gasped for air. The skin of his stuck upper and lower lips peeled off, causing a sharp pain and blood to seep out. He felt the slight warmth on the tip of his tongue, and realized that his body was not yet completely cold to the core.

　We can still go. We can still do it.

　Nothing has been confirmed yet. If I continue to stand still like this, I will never know what I have sacrificed everything for.

　that's why,

"--ah"

　Suddenly, Subaru noticed something passing across his pure white vision and stopped in his tracks.

　Rubbing his half-closed eyelids open, Subaru squinted at the foreign object that had intruded into his field of vision. Gradually the outline of the object came into focus, and it turned out to be a human shape, and it was someone he recognized.

"Lews?"

"――――"

　The girl responded to Subaru's call with a silent gaze.

　Seeing her attitude, Subaru immediately realized that the girl was not "Lewes" but a replica of "Lewes Meyer".

　At the same time, if she was a duplicate, then Subaru, having returned to the Sanctuary, had the authority to command her.

"Just in time for a good spot... please. Lead me to the 'Sanctuary'..."

"That guy won't listen to that request, you know?"

　Subaru called out to the clone girl, breathing in staccato sounds. However, a voice came from above, interrupting his words.

　She looked up and suddenly, someone fell and landed on the snowy field next to the girl. The snow sank, and there was a crushing sound, and a young man appeared.

　With short blonde hair and sharp eyes, his whole body radiates hostility, as if he could shoot Subaru to death at any moment.

"Garfield"

"Hey, what face have you got to come back with? I can't believe you made it back. I told you, 'The lying Beetoon's bow is impressive.'"

　Garfiel, still using incomprehensible phrases, bared his fangs in front of Subaru.

　He looked down at the out-of-breath Subaru with disgust, then, seeing Rem in Subaru's arms, his eyes widened in shock.

"Huh…? Why are you with Ram… No, it's not Ram. Huh? What's going on? Who is that woman…"

"I'm not sure if I can explain it well enough, though... I'm Rem. Ram's real little sister."

Subaru: "I've never heard of Ram having a younger sister… but to assume that's a lie is a bit of a stretch, hey."

　Seeing a girl who looked exactly like his beloved, Garfiel's spirits were slightly dampened. Since he didn't immediately try to kill her, Subaru decided that he was still rational, and he put off the decision to turn around and flee.

　Subaru then looked at the duplicate standing silently beside Garfiel,

"What do you mean, he won't listen to what I say?"

"...It's a simple matter. After you left the Sanctuary, I immediately entered the testing site. And then, I overwrote and regained command authority. Thanks to that, I was reminded of some unpleasant things again."

"Can you really just hand over command that easily?"

"The basic thing is to touch that thing. That's what you did too."

　"That," Garfiel pointed out, likely referring to the crystal in which Lewes Meyer's body was sealed. If touching that was a condition for the transfer of command, it was only natural that Subaru would return it to him.

　Anyway,

"You went out of your way to greet me. That's very thoughtful of you."

"I have no intention of putting up with your nonsense. If you look at the current situation, you can see that we've long since passed the point where we can laugh and talk about it, eh?"

"That's right. Then, let me ask you straight out."

　Subaru nodded at the furious Garfiel, shook his head slightly, took a breath, and said.

"--Is this Emilia doing?"

"I don't know that either. After all, he never leaves the tomb."

"Won't you come out of the tomb?"

　Subaru frowned at the unexpected reply. Garfiel clicked his tongue in annoyance at Subaru's reaction, kicking up the snow at his feet with a bang,

"Ever since you disappeared, the half-demon's behavior has been strange. Just when I thought he'd calmed down, he shut himself in the tomb and now this. Before I knew it, the Sanctuary had been covered in ice to the point of no return. --Just like the Great Elior Forest."

"You're talking about Emilia's hometown...!"

"You think I'm not listening? Roswaal is a mean guy, but I'll answer any necessary questions. That's why I don't trust this Emilia-sama thing."

　With those harsh words, Garfiel approaches Subaru, his expression stern. Unable to react to his sudden movements, Subaru is helpless as Garfiel stands before him.

"What a pathetic face you have."

「Wha――?!」

　Pressing a palm against his chest, Subaru fell backwards in an unsightly manner.

　He frantically tried to protect Rem in his arms, but his hand missed the target. Because,

"Hey, Rem――!"

Subaru: "Give it back, you say? Hey, hey, you seem pretty obsessed. The woman you fell in love with, isn't that Lady Emilia?"

　That hit a sore spot for Subaru, and Garfiel snorted.

　In his arms, Rem's body, which Subaru had been holding just a moment ago, was snatched away.

　Desperately moving his numb body, Subaru tries to cling to Garfiel, but he can't catch up with him as he leaps into the distance.

"What are you planning to do to Rem...?"

"I don't intend to make you suffer or anything. That would be unreasonable. I'll do what I want. It's unreasonable, it's disgusting."

　As Garfiel said this and looked down at Rem, there was certainly no malice in his eyes.

　At the very least, Garfiel's character is not so twisted that he would harm a girl who shared the same face as his beloved.

　Subaru was about to ask, "Then why?" when Garfiel spoke first.

"Enter the tomb. And drag out the half-demon inside."