Re:Zero kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu web novel

　Subaru could only say that he couldn't comprehend the scene that had unfolded before his eyes.

　Ram was sunk in a pool of blood, and Garfiel had lost his head. Roswaal stood beside the two bodies, lying on top of each other, brushing them off with his bare hands.

　Despite witnessing the incredible physical feat, Subaru could not believe that it was Roswaal who had done it.

　Roswaal L. Mathers was the royal court magician representing the Kingdom of Lugnica, and he had heard that he possessed the combat strength of a kind of tactical weapon, with the ability to freely control super-level magic.

　He had heard it, and because he had heard it, he had never imagined that Roswaal would be able to unleash such destructive power in a situation where he couldn't use magic.

"The idea that magicians can't fight hand-to-hand is a total preconceived notion. If someone with hostility tries to oppose me, naturally everyone will think the same.... You can see what happens to those stubborn people, though."

　The reply perfectly captured the silent Subaru's feelings, making him hold his breath.

　Roswaal traces the blood that has splashed slightly onto his face with his finger, paints his blue eyeliner over with vermilion, and smiles. --Demonic, exactly in the sense that it feels like you're about to be consumed.

"why..."

"Hmm?"

"Why did you kill those two...Ram? You would have killed Garfiel, Garfiel...there was no need to kill him..."

"It would have been a hindrance to my conversation with you alone if Garfiel was there. Regarding Ram, I do feel sorry for what I did. But I'm not strong enough to fight Garfiel head-on. I was only able to kill him now because I caught him off guard."

　Was it this Hollow that had pierced Garfiel along with Ram?

　As Roswaal candidly explains the reason for killing the two, Subaru shakes off his rage and regains his composure.

　A ridiculous answer to a ridiculous situation. If Roswaal was trying to manipulate Subaru, then his rage was exactly what he expected.

"..."

"Hmm, that's surprising. I thought you'd get really angry if I said that."

"My anger has completely turned around and now it's the other way around. ... It's not like I'm not angry. Of course. Of course."

Echidna: "I wonder. If you say it's a desirable attitude, then it's a desirable one, but if it was the boy called Natsuki Subaru I knew, he would have been more reckless, barking and raging in rage, it's only natural. Right, Natsuki Subaru-kun?"

　She closed one eye, and once again her yellow eyes caught Subaru's gaze.

　When I noticed, Roswaal was sometimes looking at someone with only one eye, the bright yellow one.

　And when Subaru imagined himself being reflected in that brilliantly shining yellow, he felt an extremely uneasy sensation.

"I know I was stupid, but I can't stop growing forever. Even I should know that this isn't a situation where I should lose my temper..."

"No, that's not it, Subaru-kun. Subaru-kun. Natsuki Subaru-kun."

　Shaking his indigo hair and stroking it with his bloodless left hand, Roswaal called Subaru's name provocatively.

　Subaru sensed something unidentifiable in the manic behavior, but he didn't back down. Instead, he stepped forward and glared at the clown's face.

"What do you mean?"

"If you ask me what I want to say, I would say this to you. Congratulations. Welcome. I've been waiting for you to stand there."

　Subaru felt a chill run down his spine, as if wet fingertips were caressing him.

　In front of him, Roswaal was gazing at him with joy, just as he had said. That attitude, that joy, filled Subaru with an incomprehensible aversion.

　Without any irony or anything, Roswaal feels joy towards Subaru. The problem is, he probably won't understand the meaning of the words he has just spoken, or the joy he feels.

"Were you waiting for me to stand here?"

Subaru: "Please don't make such a cliched misunderstanding about that place in this room. You should be able to understand that it's not meant like that. You alone should be able to understand that."

"I'm the only one who can...understand."

　I can picture in my mind the pieces of a puzzle, with no clear picture of the finished product, slowly coming together in my mind. Little by little, the pieces come together bewilderingly, and eventually the final shape begins to take shape.

　When he thought about the finished product, a feeling of "no way" ran through Subaru.

"Do you understand, Subaru? Why are you able to remain calm and composed even after witnessing the deaths of two people? You shouldn't lose your temper?… You should actually know the reason."

"――――"

"You're not that shocked by their deaths. You are shocked that they lost their lives. You may feel righteous indignation, but you don't feel any sadness. That's why you can't get angry and raise your fist at me here."

　Subaru opened his mouth to argue, but closed it again and again without saying a word, hearing Roswaal speak as if he understood what he was saying.

"What do you know?!" "How could their deaths not be sad?!" "How dare you kill Ram and Garfiel, you inhuman!"

　Any number of possible words to shout come to mind.

　In fact, those explosive emotions had been surfacing inside Subaru many times before, repeatedly escaping from his throat before disappearing.

　They are angry. They are surprised. They are sad.

　Even though he should be there, Subaru is unable to refute Roswaal's words.

"---Because you think it's something that can be taken back, don't you?"

"You..."

　Subaru's heart was suddenly gripped by a chill so strong his throat froze.

　Without any metaphorical comparison, I had the illusion that my heart was being grabbed. That was the extent of the impact.

　Subaru raised his head and instinctively looked around, terrified that the black palm would appear to punish him for breaking the taboo. This would be the first penalty he would face since he had denied the existence of the ``Witch of Envy'' once. Just imagining what terror the shadow would return clothed in made him feel a pain that twisted his heart apart.

　However,

"...Here we go."

"I don't know what you're wary of, but… ah, it may be because of your contract. I see. If that's the case, it explains the strange behavior and words you've displayed up until now."

"Accepting it... no, before that!"

　Roswaal nodded, his hand on his chin, and Subaru's face turned pale and his lips trembled.

　What Roswaal just said was surely something that touched Subaru's heart, and touching it meant,

"Have you noticed what's become of me...?!"

"As long as it doesn't deviate from what's written in the book, that is. You have the means to start over. Isn't that right?"

　Roswaal clearly admitted to being familiar with "Return by Death."

　Subaru gasped at this and immediately realized that the situation was dangerous.

　The conditions were exactly the same as Echidna's tea party.

　If the story continues as it is, treating Roswaal and "Return by Death" as if it were a given, the tragedy of Sanctuary being engulfed in shadow will occur again.

　Before that, it wouldn't be strange if the Witch came to take Subaru away, even at this very moment.

　Subaru swallowed and let out a deep exhale, confirming that time was not standing still.

　In other words, there was no penalty for grabbing the witch's heart. Although it was unbearable for Subaru himself, the mildest possibility was now eliminated.

　The remaining possibility wasーー,

"--Who was it that said, 'Silence is proof of affirmation?'"

　With his mind racing, Subaru was desperate to avoid risk when Roswaal's voice, growing impatient, pierced him.

　What he just said must have had a significant meaning for him too.

　Subaru silently ignored him, and Roswaal frowned in an unusual manner,

"Well, it's a ridiculous story. I guess you could say it's conscientious in that it doesn't resort to boring excuses."

"oh--"

"Oh, well, it's fine. I was the one who brought it up, but it would probably not be good for you to say yes. That's probably why you haven't been able to tell me about it until now. Of course."

　Roswaal cuts off Subaru with a single sound and pauses meaningfully.

　Subaru bit his lip, and Roswaal gave him a sidelong glance, loosening his lips seductively,

"Maybe I was afraid of what people would think if I confessed."

"----!"

"That's true. But the power to redo the world is an incredible thing, isn't it? Messing with time is something only the ultimate Yin power can achieve. Even Beatrice can only create stagnation. Reversing time is just a dream."

　Subaru's face stiffened in shock as his true intentions were read into too deeply and Beatrice's name was mentioned without him being able to refute it.

　The image of Elsa's blade piercing her from behind and her final moments as she dispersed into mist flashed vividly back into Subaru's mind.

Subaru: "---Looking at that reaction, it seems Beatrice has fulfilled her role."

"Your role... you know, him... right."

　Taking advantage of the fact that the topic had strayed from "Return by Death," Subaru pulled out his consciousness, which had been swept away, and attacked Roswaal's calm facade.

　Did this man know that Beatrice had cried out how lonely she was?

"You knew his suffering, didn't you? He'd been tied to that mansion all this time, clinging to a single promise he'd made so long ago... didn't you know how he'd become so worn out and shrunk because of that?"

Emilia: "Of course I knew. Beatrice and I have been friends for a long time. Since the day she was born. I have always known the sense of loneliness she harbored in her heart."

"In that case...!"

"Please don't ask why we didn't do something. You know that no one else could have done anything to ease that child's grief, don't you?"

　Just as Subaru was about to shout in anger, Roswaal's sound reasoning hit him right in the heart.

　He could loudly denounce Roswaal and let Beatrice's cries of anguish be heard, but the reality is that there would be no point in doing so.

　Beatrice is already dead, and no one can heal the sorrow in her heart.

　Subaru is the only one who has the means to start over, so he can witness her final moments as many times as he likes. But how can he heal the sadness of four hundred years?

　Four hundred years――Even Subaru had no way of going back that much time.

　Facing the silent Subaru, Roswaal shook his head slightly.

　Then he said:

"I'm jealous, huh?"

"--You're jealous, you say?"

　Subaru asked again in a low voice. However, Roswaal didn't notice and simply nodded, "That's right."

Subaru: "I'm jealous. Beatrice was able to fulfill her long-cherished wish and disappear. The fact that you're here means that…"

"His greatest wish... you say? That... that, that, dying like that was his greatest wish, you say! Is that what you say?"

Emilia: "Isn't this what Beatrice herself wanted? It is beyond the scope of others to say anything about that, and no one can deny the value standards of others. You, and of course I, cannot be allowed to tarnish Beatrice's death."

　That sounds reasonable. It's a fact.

　Subaru and Beatrice were complete strangers, and Subaru was unable to understand Beatrice's wish, nor could he have the slightest desire to grant it.

　But even so, was Beatrice really happy with that?

　--If that's the case, why did Beatrice protect Subaru in the final moments?

"Beatrice's long-cherished wish has been fulfilled. I can only envy that. After all, it seems that I am not capable of fulfilling my own long-cherished wish."

"――――"

　It was an awkward way of saying it.

　It's not entirely clear where the discomfort lies.

　But there was definitely something strange somewhere.

"Your... greatest wish is..."

"I can't say that. The contract says I can't say anything, that's all I can say. Saying it this much is the maximum compromise I can make in the contract. But, this is the only thing I can say."

"――――"

"I am always, always, always, always doing my best to achieve my cherished wish. I have never done anything meaningless, anything to be ashamed of."

　Roswaal confidently declared that he had no shame in his actions.

　After being shocked by his chest-puffing posture, a dark rage slowly began to well up inside Subaru.

　It was a selfish anger that had set aside the feelings and thoughts that Subaru had left behind on his way here.

"You say it was necessary… killing Ram and Garfiel, covering the 'Sanctuary' in snow like this, all of it… was necessary, are you saying…?"

"Hmm, regarding the former… No, that would just complicate things. Regarding the latter, I'd say you're right."

"What for?!"

　Subaru shouted, baring his fangs and waving his arms around wildly.

"Why are you doing this?! You made it snow on the Sanctuary, and mischievously tormented the residents... What is your purpose?! What is the point of doing this?! Tell me, Roswaal!!"

Subaru: "That's obvious. ーーEmilia-sama will be isolated."

"--Huh?"

Subaru: "Let me repeat that. If we make it snow like this and cause harm to the residents, Lady Emilia will become isolated and fall into an extremely unstable mental state. Hasn't that happened?"

　Roswaal's words sounded as if he had seen it before. Emilia's state inside the tomb seemed to be exactly as Roswaal had expected.

　I have no intention of telling him that honestly. More than anything, what Roswaal just said was, to the very core, the most incomprehensible thing he had ever heard.

"This is land with ties to witches, and Lady Emilia is currently undergoing the 'Trial' to liberate the 'Sanctuary'. At a time like this, if a localized natural disaster like this strikes the 'Sanctuary'… how will people look at you, Lady Emilia?"

"You..."

"The impulsive Garfiel is useful at a time like this. If it were him, he would have been the first to suspect Emilia-sama, and would have loudly declared his case. The volume of his voice would have made everyone realize - that these natural disasters were the work of Emilia-sama."

　Roswaal's reading was correct. Garfiel was truly a dance in his hand. Garfiel was the first to attack Subaru when he returned, and he had no doubt that Emilia was behind this frigid "Sanctuary."

　And so, even though there were other "capable beings" out there, this land, this world, had the fertile soil for directing all malice towards Emilia.

　This is the very demon of prejudice that has tormented Emilia for so many years.

"What will become of an isolated Emilia-sama? Emilia-sama is in reality a weak person. It is not surprising that she would want to place all her trust in someone who affirms her. And it would be great if that someone also wanted to support Emilia-sama with all their heart and soul."

"Wait... wait... wait wait wait wait wait..."

　Subaru stretches out his arm, trying to stop Roswaal from speaking.

　I feel like I'm about to hear something incredible.

　I feel like I'm being told some incredible truth.

　Now, there's something I shouldn't ask.

Subaru: "You cannot distance yourself from the dependent Emilia. Of course, you love her, after all. If your beloved Emilia has entrusted everything to you, you cannot reject her."

"No way――"

　Not at all.

　That can't be the case.

　Subaru had actually endured being overwhelmed by Emilia who had clung to him at the tomb just this time.

　It's not like he was able to completely refuse Emilia's temptations, her whispers of love.

　However, knowing that this wasn't her true feelings, he couldn't immerse himself completely in it.

"Not at the moment, I would say. And that's just a shame for me. You have a bit too much going on right now."

　In front of the troubled Subaru, Roswaal quietly takes a step forward.

　Stepping into a pool of blood, Subaru's body unconsciously shivered as he heard the wet sound of footsteps.

　Subaru cleared his throat as Roswaal approached, swinging his long limbs.

"Are you trying to kill me?"

"Killing someone is a very cruel thought, isn't it? I'd be in trouble if you died. No matter what, I need you to start over."

"picture--?"

　Subaru was momentarily stunned by Roswaal's words as he approached.

　However, I soon noticed the inconsistency in his words and his misunderstanding of the facts.

　Roswaal knows that Subaru can "redo", but he does not know that this is "Return by Death", which is triggered by "death".

　Therefore, he intends to corner Subaru until he chooses to "start over" of his own volition. Although that may be even more painful than being killed in an instant.

　If Roswaal has no intention of harming Subaru, then there is a chance.

"Everyone, come in!!"

　Subaru raised his hands and shouted.

　The moment Roswaal frowned at the voice, the door and window of his room, as well as the windows and doors of the adjoining room and living room, were destroyed all at once. Then, along with the cold wind, small shadows rushed in, twenty of them at once - all of them young girls with pale crimson hair.

　Seeing all the girls with the same facial features lined up, Roswaal closed one eye and looked at Subaru,

"I thought that command of the clones had been transferred to Garfiel?"

"I'm going to go after you, who may be the mastermind behind this. --I've increased the number of cards in my hand."

　--This was after leaving the tomb and arguing with Garfiel.

　Subaru persuades Garfiel, who wants to go and question Roswaal right away, to transfer command of the clones from Garfiel to him in the Crystal Chamber.

　On top of that, he had a duplicate of Lewes waiting outside the house where Roswaal was recuperating, ready to be used to storm in if necessary.

　Rem, who had been held hostage by Garfiel, was left in the care of the representative personality, Ryuzu, and taken to the cathedral where the refugees and residents were taking refuge together.

　All of this was assuming that Roswaal was the perpetrator of this heinous act.

　--Although it was natural, Subaru hadn't anticipated that Garfiel and Ram would be killed by Roswaal.

"So, what are you planning to do by surrounding me?"

"I was surprised you were that strong even with your bare hands, but you were outnumbered. If Garfiel was as incredible as you were in beast form, it would have been tough even if we had more of them..."

　The reason Roswaal pierced Garfiel along with Ram was because he had no chance of winning if he fought Garfiel head on. Still, there is no doubt that he is far stronger than Subaru--

"We'll shut you down with the force of twenty of us. We'll beat you up, hold you down, and make you tell us everything you're hiding."

"You, being under the conditions, should understand how important it is to abide by the contract."

"Unfortunately, in my case, on top of the fact that I was tied by my will, if I tried to break it I would be punished by force. If it hasn't come yet, then you're in the safe zone!"

　With twenty people gathered in a cramped house, it's almost like being packed with sardines.

　The expressionless Lewes Meyer clones responded to Subaru's call and leapt at Roswaal with blank looks on their faces.

　Roswaal is left defenseless as he meets the attack, and although it is natural that he can only take on two at a time, he can only do so.

　Controlling the weather outside backfires, and Roswaal, unable to use magic, is swept away by the might of numbers.

　Subaru is confident of victory, even though it is a close one.

"---It's true that we are outnumbered."

"――――"

"It's a rather foolish decision to challenge a wizard with sheer numbers."

　The flames slashed sideways through the room, incinerating all the copies of Lewes Meyer that were in the line of fire.

　It was like a wall of flame that instantly burned every small body in its path from head to toe, turning them to dust and reducing them to mana.

　To Subaru, all that appeared was a momentary red light and wave of heat sweeping through the room.

"You shouldn't be able to use magic..."

"If I was controlling the weather, you see. Unfortunately, there's no longer any reason for me to make it snow. So, I stopped doing that a while ago. I feel bad for not telling you, though."

"What――ugh, ugh."

　For a moment, while he was at a loss for words, Roswaal had approached and grabbed Subaru by the throat. Where did that strength come from in those slender arms? Subaru was lifted up with ease, his feet left the ground, and Roswaal swung his head at the flailing Subaru.

"Fu――"

　The duplicate smashed through the remaining half of the window that was already half-broken and flew out of the building. Subaru's body was thrown out, fell onto the snow outside, rolled, and hit the wall before coming to a halt.

　The muddy snow got into his mouth, and he spat it out, shook his head, and looked up.

　Roswaal leisurely comes out of the house, leading the remaining half of the clones. Since they have not been given any orders, the clones are unsure of what to do.

　But Subaru no longer knew what to say to them.

"Even after all this, you still haven't done a 'do-over'? No, or maybe you've already done it? If you think about it, if a 'do-over' were to occur, it's unclear what my perception would be like. This could be a problem."

　Roswaal came up to the crawling Subaru's side and tilted his head.

　Looking up at the clown, Subaru, in pain and shortness of breath, blurted out a question that had suddenly arisen in his mind.

"Rosu, I'm sorry… You keep saying things like 'doing it over and over again'…"

"Hmm? Is it something important? Let's listen."

"To me, you're the one I'm wondering about. Acting on the premise that others will "do it over" is crazy. ...You too, actually."

　Perhaps there is also a way to pass on memories.

　Just like Echidna, who withdraws into her dream castle within the tomb, perhaps Roswaal also retains memories of the world before Subaru's "Return by Death".

　Otherwise, it would be difficult to understand Roswaal's nonchalant desire for a "do-over."

"Well, that's fine. But then, I'll have to deal with you too..."

　Isn't it even possible to cooperate?

　Not only was Roswaal's purpose unclear, but he also committed other unforgivable acts.

　She will never forgive Ram and Garfiel for killing them, and cornering Emilia. But her situation is not favorable enough for her to dismiss Roswaal's power as unnecessary and push it aside emotionally. Rather, it is urgent.

　If the saying "If you're going to take poison" applied, then Subaru was prepared to swallow it.

"--It seems that's not going to work out that way."

　However, Subaru's thin thread of hope is cut short by a shake of Roswaal's head.

　Then, Roswaal looked away from Subaru, who had his eyes cast down, and pointed his raised finger in the direction of his gaze,

"Goah"

　Small flames rise up and the forest bursts into flames in the direction Roswaal is facing.

　Subaru blinked at the sudden act of destruction, and a sound mixed with the sounds of trees burning and popping was heard.

　--It sounded like a tiny, tiny animal's death throes.

"--Could that be?"

"I see. So this is how it ends."

　Jumping to his feet, Subaru's face was pale as he glanced around. As he shifted position in the same way, Roswaal snapped his fingers several times, and each time, the smell of fire and burning flesh, and a high-pitched cry that hurt his ears, rang out throughout the Sanctuary.

　And when its charred corpse fell to the ground in front of him with a clatter, Subaru understood clearly.

"Oh, rabbit...!!"

　A big rabbit, that's one of them.

　As they slowly begin to appear from the forest, Roswaal fires magic at them, burning them one by one. Even if they come out in groups, they too become Roswaal's prey.

　When facing a large number of enemies, no one could match Roswaal. Even though he had witnessed it, fear gripped Subaru's heart and would not let go.

　If I close my eyes, the memory of my entire body being torn apart by sharp teeth comes back to me.

　The sense of loss from having your fingers, your body, your organs devoured is hard to put into words.

　Upon seeing the demonic beast pull this off, Subaru heard his soul scream.

"But it's only the fifth day...we should have had more than half a day!"

"Snow, right?"

"snow--!?"

"It's magic that can even affect the weather. Naturally, the mana filling the atmosphere is on a completely different level. Not to mention the snow, everyone in the Sanctuary has gathered in the cathedral. It's an obvious feeding ground for any magical beasts nearby."

　Subaru was shocked by Roswaal's calm and measured conclusion, and said, "Then..."

　According to that theory, the most dangerous place in the Sanctuary from being attacked by the Giant Rabbit is,

"The cathedral! We must hurry to the cathedral...!"

"It's too late now. The moment they showed up here, where there were only a few of them, the strays who couldn't get the food started to leave. --There's no one left now."

"But! There's something there...!"

　He took Rem away.

　I left it to Lewes, and Rem was there. There were over a hundred people in the cathedral, including the residents of the Sanctuary and the refugees from Arlam Village.

　I don't even want to think about all of that happening at once.

"Roswaal! There's a ceasefire for now! Anyway, let's go to the cathedral! Collect the survivors and get them somewhere safe..."

　Subaru approached Roswaal, grabbed him by the collar and yelled at him.

　However, Roswaal gently holds back Subaru's arm that is grabbing him,

"Flee? Where exactly? There's a barrier. The inhabitants of the 'Sanctuary' can't escape."

"That's..."

"There wasn't enough time, Subaru. If the 'Trial' hadn't been overcome, the residents wouldn't have been able to cross the 'Sanctuary'. In other words, your wish would not come true."

　Being pushed away, Subaru fell on his bottom in the snow.

　The replicas of Lewes swarmed around the fallen Subaru, pretending to wait for instructions, which was quite amusing.

　And Subaru realized this even later.

　Until just now, Roswaal had been incinerating every magical beast he could find, but now he had completely stopped.

"Roswaal! If I stop, I'll run out of mana..."

「No, that's not true. My mana is, in a way, inexhaustible. It's not going to run out that easily. What has run out is my reason for living.」

　Slowly, white, furry creatures begin to crawl out of the forest.

　It was surely approaching me, leaving small footprints in the white snow, just like its body fur.

"Even if we could start over, we should do it in this way… We should have a proper discussion! You might be thinking that it's okay to do it next time, but…"

"There's one thing you seem to be misunderstanding, Subaru-kun."

"a?"

Subaru: "Even if you start over, I can't start over. The me you end up with after starting over won't be the same as I am now. This is the end for me. ――But, that's okay."

　Stunned, Subaru is overwhelmed by Roswaal's words.

　Roswaal had said that he was not eligible for redoing. In other words, Roswaal was the only person who knew of the possibility that Subaru had "Returned by Death", and dying here would mean the end of this consciousness known as Roswaal.

　He accepts that, and yet he still commands Subaru to start over. Even though he knows that if he returns, he won't be the person he is now.

　That way of thinking is too

"That's not a human way of thinking..."

　Unlike Subaru, whose consciousness is continuous.

　Roswaal's consciousness is no longer continuous, so when he dies that is the end.

　Being aware of the end and accepting it as a given is abnormal.

"One day, you will truly catch up to me, Subaru."

"Rozu..."

"Listen, Subaru. —It's something important. The one and only thing that is truly important to you. Strip away everything else. Let go of everything else, and think only about protecting that one important thing."

"――――"

"And then--"

　Roswaal raised his finger as if lecturing.

　The rabbit, which had approached closely, bit into Roswaal's wrist. Blood splattered everywhere, and Roswaal's right arm was bitten off at the wrist, then another jaw bit into his elbow, then his shoulder, and all at once, multiple fangs bit into his torso, making a dull sound as flesh was torn apart.

"Roswaalrrrrr!!"

"--You too can become like me."

　The clown's smile was obscured by the rabbit's body, its mouth wide open.

　The countless white rabbits swarmed around Roswaal, covering his entire body. He fell onto his side, and the rabbits devoured his defenseless flesh. Devour. Devour.

　Blood splatters, flesh bounces, and the white snow is dyed crimson red, but the rabbit doesn't even want to waste the crimson-dyed snow as he slurps it up and devours it all.

　Subaru simply watched in silence as Roswaal ceased to be Roswaal.

　I watched as Roswaal was lost from the world and was chewed up.

　- I was watching.