Rising Shards

Side Fangs #20: “Aira’s Memory Trial” (1/2)



Aira stepped into the darkness. She whistled as she entered the strange place.

“Aira Orbis,” a deep voice from beyond said. “You are a difficult one to read.”

“Am I?” Aira asked. “That’s a new one. And I’ve been called a lot of things. I have gotten a lot of nicknames. Least favorite: shampoo. All because I had nice shampoo! It was ridiculous.”

“I’m sure,” the voice said. “Have you been told what’s to come?”

“Yeppers,” Aira said. “I’m ready to go!”

“Then let us begin,”

Aira felt a strange sensation, like the being she spoke to was scanning her. Maybe this guy was how the temple pulled memories?

“You’ve had quite the summer.”

“I…yeah.” Aira said.

“Yet you are not in any outward pain?”

“What do I have to be in pain about?” Aira said. “I mean, yeah, it has been a long summer, but we’re gonna be OK.”

Aira heard a familiar humming sound, with faint voices nearby. The muffled sound of an explosion that made her feel like she was back in her basement.

“That sound above us.” The voice in the darkness said. “Do you recognize it?”

“Yes,” Aira said. “It’s when Laenie and Rem…”

She wasn’t sure why, but Aira tried to look strong for the entity surrounding her. Maybe if she hid how scared she really was, this wouldn’t hurt as bad. She didn’t have to worry too long about how shaky she looked; Aira felt herself almost fade away, to become a spectator to this strange display of her memories.

In the darkness, the chaotic sounds of people scrambling outside got louder.

“Is there anything in particular about this night you remember?” the voice in the void said.

Aira pictured the night perfectly in her mind.

“I remember my cousins were trying to start their backyard trampoline wrestling league, that was pretty loud,” Aira said.

“Anything more particularly important than that?” The voice in the darkness asked.

Aira didn’t want to say it. She’d gotten so good at putting a strong face on that she hadn’t considered what would happen if she wasn’t able to show expression. It somehow felt more vulnerable. It reminded her of when one of her uncles won tickets to a sensory deprivation tank test event, and they all got to try them. When she was in that pod, just floating, she felt the same kind of open vulnerability.

“You’re gonna make me talk about it, aren’t you?” Aira asked.

“What do you mean?”

“You know…that whole week. I don’t…want to…”

“If you really don’t want to go through it, we can stop here,” the voice in the darkness said. “And you can go back, and you will have completed your memory trial.”

“OK, let’s do that!” Aira said.

“Is that what you really want?”

Aira paused for maybe a second too long.

“I’m really OK, I’ve been dealing with it on my own and everything!” Aira said. “I don’t see how seeing it all again would help anything.”

Why would it help anything? Aira thought. Why would seeing something she tried so hard not to think about help her with her Cani powers at all? Just a few stupid momentary blipsThere’s so many better things to revisit, right?

“It might help a little,” the voice said. “Do you want to talk about it, at least?”

“I don’t know,” Aira said. “I wish it didn’t happen…I wish I could just forget about it and move on.”

The voice didn’t answer. Their simple questions and silence cut into Aira in a way no one could, and it didn’t make any sense.

“But there’s more to me than that, isn’t there?” Aira asked. “I’ll be OK. I’m at a better place now. I…I think.”

“I don’t feel as though your issues are as resolved as I first thought," the voice said. "But you are remarkably strong for facing them. I just hope you are truly facing them and not suppressing them.”

“I am,” Aira said, unsure if she was lying. It felt like she was telling the truth, wasn’t it? Her form returned to her, and a door appeared that Aira could immediately tell was her way out. The voice spoke one more time as she reached the door.

“It is a shame that you’re skipping this as Laenie continues on, though.” The voice said.

“Is…Laenie finishing her jump fifteen?” Aira asked.

“She is, she even gave me a new name. She has elected to call me Twilight Umbra.”

“I like that,” Aira said. “Laenie’s very smart. And she’s really…facing her stuff again?”

“She really is,” Twilight Umbra said. “Does that affect the decision in front of you?”

Aira hesitated at the door. If Laenie could face that week…could Aira really skip out on hers?

“And you’re not like lying to me or funnin’ me?” Aira asked.

“I’m definitely not.”

Aira sighed. “Fine, we can do it. I think. But promise you won’t…make fun of me or something about this.”

“I wouldn’t. I’m not that kind of other dimensional being, you know?”

“Thanks,” Aira said. “So do we just…get started then?”

“We already have.”

Aira felt formless again as the darkness morphed and changed into solid images she wished she wouldn't have to relive.


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