Rising Shards

While she didn’t feel physically panicked while in a memory trial, Aira still felt some innate sense of stress as she watched a familiar street form with a familiar cul-de-sac. Her view shifted away from that to her confusion, and towards an elementary school with a small shop by it.

“Wait, this isn’t that night,” Aira said. “This is…”

Aira watched as her younger self entered the shop.

There were other classmates around from her school, all grabbing snacks after class. It was tradition at Taramin Elementary. Aira didn’t get along very well with the other students. They found her weird and didn’t hesitate to tell her so. She grabbed one of the new Deluxetaffy X flavors that she was really curious about (Fungus Blitz, Negative Blue Raspberry, Clown, and Fried Fries) and got in line for the front counter. There was one girl in front of her who was crying. She was a bit shorter than Aira and had curled hair.

“Sorry,” the cashier said. “I don’t know what to tell you. Bring money next time? I don’t know. If you don’t have money, you can’t buy candy. Not a Peanut Bubby Bar, that’s for sure. So I don’t know what to tell you.”

The guy kept repeating himself over and over and it seemed to make the crying girl sadder. Eventually he shooed her away, and the girl ran off still crying, leaving her candy on the counter. The cashier sighed as Aira set her taffy down.

“I don’t know what to tell you kids sometimes. No money, no candy. Definitely not Peanut Bubby Bars. They don’t give those for free, except on Free Peanut Bubby Bars day, which isn’t today. It’s not that hard, right? I don’t know what to tell you.”

Aira wished she could tell this guy to stop saying the same thing over and over, but the candy the girl wanted caught her eye. She checked if she had enough change for it, and bought it along with her taffy.

Aira found the girl sitting outside, her head in her hands. Aira tapped her shoulder and held the candy out.

The crying girl looked up. “Wh…for me?”

“I didn’t like seeing you so sad.” Aira said.

The girl suddenly started crying louder.

“Hey, wait, I bought that to help you not cry!” Aira said.

“I’m…really…thank you…” the girl said between sobs.

Once she’d calmed down, and her tears were dry, Aira managed to get the girl to giggle as the two shared their candies. Laenie didn’t touch the weirder taffy flavors, but Aira found them curiously enticing.

“I’m Aira.” She said.

“I’m Laenie Aadris,” the girl said. “I owe you candy now, right?”

“No?” Aira said. “That’s just what friends do.”

It took a few moments for that to register with Laenie. Once the idea of them being friends sunk in, the two started giggling again.

While seeing her past in front of her, Aira felt the same comforting warmth of the elation she had that day.

“Was that the first time you met?” Twilight Umbra asked.

“I saw her at school a bit, but we had different classes,” Aira said. “We were best friends after that, though. Inseparable ever since!” Aira said. “I like seeing memories like that…I bet…it’ll make it easier…”

Aira sighed.

“Do we have to go back to it?”

“Would you rather just talk to me about it instead?” Twilight Umbra asked.

“I…don’t know.” Aira said.

“How about we start watching, and if it gets to be too much, just tell me.”

Aira nodded. It was too dark, but she assumed whatever kind of being Twilight Umbra was could still see her motions somehow.

“And if I kind of feel like puking I’ll let you know,” Aira said. “I can throw up on command so I’ll warn you.”

“Thank you for the heads up.”

Everything was dark. Then everything shook as the explosion hit again.

Aira was back in her basement, hearing the sounds above her. She could hear her family upstairs rushing to the front window, trying to find out what happened.

But somehow, Aira knew what happened. Or rather, she knew who whatever had happened had happened to.

“I just want to go away, please, let me go away.” Aira begged as the knocking and shouting and crying and screaming got louder. She couldn’t handle the thought of something happening to Laenie; if she lost her…

More shouting made the thought worm into her mind that she’d already lost Laenie.

Already lost Laenie.

Her heart was pounding.

I can’t do this without her.

I can’t do anything without her.

That was her outside. I know it was her.

Her mouth flared in pain. 

Suddenly, Aira was somewhere else. She was at the top of a hill overlooking town. She knew what had happened before she even felt her teeth.

“That was when my fangs came in.” Aira said.

“What did you do?” Twilight Umbra asked.

Aira saw her past self look out at the blinking lights of the town beneath her. Despite there still being so much movement below her, where she sat things were finally quiet.

“After that brief moment of peace, I saw the smoke,” Aira said. “And then it really hit me that when Laenie really needed me, I ran.”

“But you ran fearing you lost her.” Twilight Umbra said.

I don’t know what it was,” Aira said. “But when I got my breath back, and I was done spitting out blood from my fangs coming through my gums like that…I could just feel that she made it. Then my powers went a bit berserk, and I teleported all over town until some people caught me and got me to a doctor. Once I was settled with my power blocker and stuff, I tried to find that spot again whenever things got bad.”

The void around her warped, and Aira saw her past self sitting next to a bed in a hospital room, watching as her best friend slept, looking beat up and frail despite her new status as an Exa Cani.

“I don’t know if you can hear me.” Aira said, her voice weak and hoarse. “But I’m sorry your fangs came in and your whole…Exa thing and…well, everything with your brother.”

Laenie didn’t answer; she remained still.

“I was really scared,” Aira said. “I’m sorry I didn’t…I wasn’t there. Guess what, though? My fangs came in, too. I’m not an Exa Cani though. I can teleport! It’s…kind of scary to get used to. But maybe when you’re up…we can go out somewhere!”

Laenie made a small noise, it was as cute to Aira as watching a puppy talk in their sleep.

“If there’s…anything I can get for you, too,” Aira said. “Anything.”

Laenie stirred again, making a bit louder sound.

“Get me…” Laenie whispered. Aira snapped out of her chair to get closer to Laenie. “Chocolates…surprise me.”

“You got it,” Aira said. She was about ready to teleport and get them right there, but Laenie giggled.

“Or get a Peanut Bubby…like last time…”

“I will,” Aira said.

“And…” Laenie said, her voice sounding like she was seconds away from falling back asleep. “Sorry about your fangs, too.”

“Thank you,” Aira said, wiping tears away. “We’ve had a bad week, huh?”

Laenie was sleeping again though.

“A difficult time, but you seemed to handle it very gracefully,” Twilight Umbra said as the scene faded away.

Aira didn’t answer.

“That wasn’t all, was it?”

“You know it wasn’t,” Aira said, her voice weak. “But shouldn’t that be the worst part? Aren’t I being selfish for thinking…I know what you’re going to show me, for thinking that was worse than what it was like to get fangs? For Laenie having to see her brother become an exploding Pyre Cani, run away while she became an Exa Cani?”

“You’re allowed to be upset.”

“But…” Aira said as the memories she wanted to see least came before her.

She saw herself at the Rising Shards dorms. She was hesitating outside her door.

“Do you want to talk about what’s happening here?” Twilight Umbra asked.

“I’m…back from my vacation,” Aira said. “I’m scared, because I…I don’t know why I did it. Maybe it was easier to do because I wasn’t going to be there.”

“What did you do?”

“I got Laenie a heart shaped box of little Peanut Bubby Bars…” Aira said. “I wrote a card kinda confessing how I feel about Laenie…”

Aira’s past self opened the door. Laenie was at her desk working as Aira was greeted by her cat Eio, who darted at her from the ceiling, purring as he floated around her.

“Hi, Laenie!”

Everything froze as Laenie looked down at the corner of her desk.

“It was here.” Aira said. “I knew when I saw her eyes something was wrong. But it was late, and I was tired, so I went to bed.”

Aira watched herself plop onto her bed, with Eio curling up on her shortly after.

“The next day was pretty normal,” Aira said. “I remember asking Zeta Faleur about it. That helped a little. But then…”

The memory was blurry, as if Aira’s heart was resisting seeing it once more. But either memory trials didn’t allow that, or Aira was braver than she imagined.

“I was just…I could’ve walked down any other hallway that day.” Aira said. “After class, I don’t know why. I took a different way back to our room. I was by one of the lounges and there was this…”

Aira sniffed.

“It sounds kinda stupid out loud. But someone littered.”

Her past self picked up a piece of trash, just some plastic wrap possibly from a sandwich, and brought it to the nearest garbage can. She saw a pink corner of a box sticking out of the garbage.

“It was…she…I think she threw it out.” Aira said.

“Are you sure it was yours?” Twilight Umbra asked.

“I kinda…poked at it. The letter was there.”

Aira felt as weak and helpless as she did that day, a more desolate emotional helplessness than even the night her fangs came in. Something that left her feeling completely isolated, in an invisible prison no one knew she was in.

“She’d have to remember, right?” Aira said. “She’d have to know. Wouldn’t she know my handwriting?”

She thought about all the times Laenie must have seen her write. She’d have to know.

“I don’t know what’s worse,” Aira said. “If she forgot about the Peanut Bubby Bars, and couldn’t tell I wrote it…or if she knew and lied to me to try and protect me. And threw it out to make it so we didn’t ever talk about it again.”

"Is it possible it wasn't her?"

"It is," Aira said. "I don't know how or who would do it, but maybe someone stole it from her and threw it out for some reason. But I don't know if it's just me overthinking it, but I had the same feeling I did when Laenie and Rem had the incident. Like I could feel it was her."

“Maybe she was afraid, or she isn’t ready to deal with feelings like that from either of you.”

“Or maybe,” Aira said, putting words together of what her fear truly was. “Maybe I already lost her.”

“I’m sorry. That’s an incredibly difficult thought to face.”

“I got a vacation with a plane waterfall out of it at least.” Aira said. “That’s…a long story.”

“Maybe another time, then.”

“Yeah.” Aira said. She didn’t cry there, though she expected to. She sat in the darkness quietly for a long while.

“Thank you for listening to me,” Aira said.

“You know, shockingly few Cani who enter tell me that.”

“Well, more should.” Aira said. “I think…I’m ready to be done with this for today.”

“That’s fine,” Twilight Umbra said.

The exit door appeared before Aira again as she felt like she had a form again. Aira walked to the door, but hesitated once more.

“Hey, would it be alright if I came back here to talk to you sometimes?” Aira asked.

“Even if things aren’t fixed, and they still hurt…this did help talking to you. A lot.”

“Of course,” Twilight Umbra said. “You can always return here to talk to me anytime you feel you need to.”

“I think that’d be good,” Aira said. “And I think Laenie picked a good name for you.”

“I do too,” Twilight Umbra said.