Rizz Taoist Master [A Reverend Insanity Fanfiction]

What could possibly threaten the foundations of the Heavenly Court? What did the Lord of the Mysteries fandom cower in fear from? What could cause the Heaven Overseeing Tower Lord to quake in his boots, and had caused him to make a shocked Pikachu face when he realized its existence? 

Touching Grass Gu!

Touching grass was anathema to Lord of the Mysteries fans.

After all, if people touched grass, how could they possibly endure- I mean enjoy the thousands of chapters in Lord of the Mysteries? They would actually start going outside and doing literally anything else other than reading that work, and the fandom would collapse. 

And if they couldn't get new members, wouldn't the fandom be destroyed? Where else woudl they get more Lord of the Mysteries fans from?

It wasn't like they had any chance of reproducing the normal way.

And this Touching Grass gu threatened their very existence.

What did the Heaven Overseeing Tower Lord see when he gooned out of one of the windows of the tower?

Right there, below him, was a huge wall that was being painted over slowly by various people.

When the Lord of the Mysteries fans became somewhat tired of reading their favorite book, they would often gather by that wall to watch pain dry in order to get their heart rates up by doing something marginally more exciting than reading Lord of the Mysteries. After all, they needed some burst of excitement in their lives, even if many of them had refined their own Diabeetus gu and Hypertension gu. 

Next to that wall was the fanfiction section, where many of them were busy writing the most godawful works of fiction to ever grace the eyes of men. 

Next to that was a section of people who were currently being treated for caffeine addiction after being forced to down fifteen energy drinks a night to keep up with reading the series. 

Even as he admired these sights, he couldn't help but wrinkle his nose.

Naturally, Lord of the Mysteries fans did not have time to bathe given how much they read. They kept talking about how they had acquired a 'heavenly aura' that helped them defeat their enemies.

At some point, someone needed to tell them, 'Nah, bro, you just smell really bad. Go take a bath!'

The fact that the stench had reached him, even at the tower's height, proved that the situation had gotten really bad. They needed to have rain or something, else Stenchmaxxing Gu would start to develop.

However, all of this would be in danger if Touch Grass gu were to ever assault them. 

Where was Touching Grass gu? The Heaven Overseeing Tower Lord did not know, because to know where it was required one to touch grass. He only knew that it had awakened, and if used against them, the entire Heavenly Court might collapse. 

Red Lotus Sigma Venerable had used the Touching Grass gu to damage their copy of the Lord of the Mysteries, and they were still trying to deal with repairing the volume!

How much worse would it be if its full power was unleashed?

Heaven Overseeing Tower Lord descended the stairs, writing things like, "You Reverend Insanity fans are just salty that we not only got two finished books, but that we're soon going to get an actual volume and possible animation, while you're still waiting for your novel to get unbanned and writing fanfiction shipping yourselves with Bai Ning Bing Chilling!" in order to cope with the fear of running into Touching Grass gu.

Still, there was little more that he could do. Not even Rank 9 Copium Gu could ease the worry in his heart as he reached the bottom of the stairs, and was joined by Femoid Zi Wei.

"Femoid," the Heaven Overseeing Tower Lord said, "have you finally succeeded?"

Femoid Zi Wei shook her head. "I could not find the culprit responsible for leaking that video on audio-visual gu despite using all of my Wisdom path methods. However, I have managed to rizz up a gu that will get rid of all of the audio-visual gu recordings. How goes your work in finding..." she hesitated to even speak its name, like it was Voldemort, or as if speaking its name would summon that thing itself. "...Touching Grass gu?"

Heaven Overseeing Tower Lord shook his head. "No... Touching Grass gu required one to touch grass to rizz it, to find it, and to counter it. Not even Rank 9 Brainrot Gu could live up to its might." 'The Legends of Ren Zu' were quite clear about this, as Rank 9 Brainrot Gu's effect was completely negated by the usage of Touching Grass gu. 

"How can we prepare to meet it?" Femoid Zi Wei asked. 

"We can only brace ourselves for what to come," Heaven Overseeing Tower Lord said. "After all, the foundations of the Heavenly Court are unfathomably deep. Our mission, to ensure the supremacy of Lord of the Mysteries over all other webnovels, will continue for as long as we stand. We will succeed, because our cause is just!"

Femoid Zi Wei winced a little as the stench reached her. "Has it really gotten this bad?" She had been in hibernation until she had been woken up after that video had leaked, and had not realized just how much the place smelled until she had left it and then come back. Then, the smell hit her like a dump truck. 

"Unfortunately so," Heaven Overseeing Tower Lord said. "We need to use Shower Gu, Soap Gu, and Deodarant Gu in large numbers. I will buy them from Yellow Treasure Heaven." They always needed more of those than they could produce themselves. 

However, the Heavenly Court could not even begin to fathom where the legendary Touching Grass gu was right now. If they knew it was with Gooner Yue Fang Zheng, they would've nuked the entire Gooner Yue village from orbit. 

And if Femoid Zi Wei found that her panty flash audio-visual gu was being sold by Fang Yuan, she would've nuked the place from orbit anyway.