Surviving marriage in yandere world

Velvet Royal Academy, Morning of False Hope.

For the first time in weeks, Rei had a plan. And that's not a good plan, not even a "passably decent survival strategy," but he has a plan nonetheless.

"Transfer schools," he whispered to himself, clutching the thick parchment application in trembling hands like a starving man clinging to bread.

His hair was disheveled, his tux wrinkled, his eyes bloodshot from a sleepless night of barricading his door against the synchronized "Good morning, Husband~" siege. But against all odds, Rei felt a strange flicker of hope.

"If I can just get out of here… move to some backwater school in the middle of nowhere… maybe I can finally breathe."

He lowered his voice, glancing left and right to make sure none of his "wives" were lurking in the shadows. Which, statistically, they were.

"…I'll enroll in the Royal Academy of Agriculture. Yes, A place where my biggest threat will be cows. Not chainsaws, spears, or divine marriage edicts. Just… cows."

[Notice: You are attempting the rare escape sub-route.]

[Warning: This has a 0.0001% success rate.]

[System Suggestion: Instead of transferring, consider embracing your fate as the Shared Husband of the Apocalypse.]

Rei glared at the empty air. "I didn't ask for commentary. I asked for freedom."

[Freedom not found.]

"Shut up."

Rei tiptoed into the admissions office, his heart pounding like a fugitive on the run. The office itself was deceptively ordinary: shelves of student records, magical filing cabinets, a large oak desk covered in quills and inkpots.

It was quiet, too quiet.

Rei approached the desk cautiously, clutching his application. "Just sign this, stamp it and Just let me—"

The moment his trembling hand placed the parchment down, the paper glowed.

Rei froze. "…What?"

The parchment pulsed with ominous red runes. Then, with a sharp hiss, the entire application ignited in blue flames.

"Wha—WAIT, STOP!" Rei yelped, flailing desperately. He tried smothering the fire with his sleeves, blowing on it, even praying. The flames refused to go out until all that remained was a fine pile of glittering ash.

The ashes rearranged themselves into glowing words:

"APPLICATION DENIED: TRANSFER NOT PERMITTED. CONTRACT ACTIVE."

Rei blinked. "…Contract? What contract?"

The door slammed open behind him.

Click. Clack. With slow, deliberate footsteps echoed on the stone floor.

A shadow fell across the room, and Rei's blood ran cold. It was Rosette.

The maid or I say the silent assassin. The soft-spoken tracker extraordinaire. She stepped into the light, holding a silver tray with unsettling calm. On it sat a teapot, two cups, and a scroll bound with chains.

"Good morning, Young Master," Rosette murmured. Her voice was polite, smooth… and deeply terrifying. "I anticipated you would attempt this."

Rei gulped. "You… anticipated—wait, did you do this?!"

Rosette placed the tray neatly on the desk, her porcelain face unflinching. She unrolled the chained scroll and slid it forward.

"Eternal Enrollment Contract," she explained, as if discussing the weather. "Signed on your behalf. Witnessed by the Student Council. Authorized by the Dean. Triple-sealed by holy ordinance. In short, you cannot transfer schools."

Rei's jaw dropped. "S-SIGNED ON MY BEHALF?! By who?!"

Rosette's lips curled into a faint, chilling smile. "Me, of course."

"…OF COURSE?!"

[System Alert: Eternal Enrollment Contract discovered.]

[Clause 1: Rei is forever enrolled in Velvet Royal Academy.]

[Clause 2: Attempting to transfer triggers auto-incineration of documents.]

[Clause 3: Attendance is mandatory, punishable by 'marital discipline.']

[System Comment: Wow. You're basically property now.]

Rei's knees wobbled. "Marital discipline—?!"

Rosette continued, her eyes never blinking. "I even included a personal clause."

She pointed at the scroll, where in delicate script it read:

"Clause 13: Should Rei attempt escape, maid reserves right to personally retrieve him. Preferably via chloroform."

Rei screamed internally. "YOU WROTE THAT YOURSELF!"

Rosette simply bowed. "Efficient foresight, Young Master."

Before Rei could protest further, the window shattered. A spear of holy light stabbed into the floorboards, inches from his foot.

"Rei!" Seraphina's voice rang like judgment itself. She stood outside the window in radiant holy armor, her wings blazing. "Why do I sense the stench of treachery? Were you… trying to leave us?"

Rei yelped, stumbling backward. "I wasn't—I didn't—it's not what it looks like!"

Before he could finish, the office door exploded. Drakana stomped in, her dragon claws glowing. "MATE!" she roared. "WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING PAPERS INSTEAD OF TOUCHING ME?!"

"I'M NOT TOUCHING ANYONE!" Rei wailed.

A ripple of soft laughter echoed next. Lilia descended from above, her holy aura illuminating the room like a divine spotlight. "Oh, dear husband," she said sweetly, brandishing a scroll of her own. "Did you not read the Heavenly Matrimonial Addendum? You are bound not just to us… but to this academy, where our love may flourish under divine witness."

Rei's soul visibly left his body. "You made my SCHOOL enrollment a MARRIAGE vow?!"

[System Clarification: Yes, This is legally binding, Across kingdoms, Across planes and Across reincarnations.]

[System Comment: Face it, you're never leaving.]

Then came Emilia, peeking shyly from behind the doorframe. She held a bento box. "…Um, Rei? I-I made you lunch…"

Every yandere froze. Slowly, five pairs of murderous eyes turned toward her.

Emilia squeaked. "I-I just thought he'd be hungry—"

Rei dove under the desk. "DON'T KILL HER, SHE JUST BROUGHT FOOD!"

As if things couldn't get worse, dozens of tiny mechanical butterflies fluttered into the office. Their jeweled wings sparkled, their lenses whirred, and a booming voice echoed from nowhere:

"Welcome back to HUSBANDVISION! Today's episode: 'The Foolish Escape Attempt!' Live footage brought to you by Rosette Enterprises."

A magical screen unfolded in midair, broadcasting the scene across campus. Students erupted in cheers outside.

Rei buried his face in his hands. "…WHY is my suffering televised?!"

Rosette adjusted her maid bonnet. "Transparency builds trust, Young Master."

[Popularity Rating: +200%]

[New Title Unlocked: Campus Fugitive Husband]

[System Comment: Congrats! You're famous for failing.]

Panic-stricken, Rei bolted for the window. If he could just leap, roll, and sprint into the woods, maybe—

Drakana caught him midair like a cat snagging a mouse. She slung him over her shoulder effortlessly. "MATE, YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE."

"PUT ME DOWN!" Rei thrashed wildly. "I JUST WANTED COWS!"

Seraphina floated beside them, smug. "Cows? Blasphemy. Your destiny is to graze upon heavenly love, not livestock."

Lilia chimed in serenely, "Yes, Rei. You are already enrolled in the only institution that matters: the academy of marriage."

Rei sobbed. "That's not even a real school!"

[System Notification: Escape Attempt No. 37: FAILED.]

[Updated Record: 37 consecutive failures.]

[System Sarcasm: At this point, cows would reject your transfer application.]

Back in the lounge, the girls gathered, Rei tied to a velvet chair with silken ribbons.

Rosette stood calmly at his side, pouring tea. "As demonstrated, escape is futile."

Drakana cracked her knuckles. "If he tries again, I'll break the doors. All of them."

Seraphina adjusted her halo. "If he tries again, I'll invoke divine lightning."

Lilia smiled sweetly. "If he tries again, I'll just annul his soul and rebind it in holy matrimony."

Rei whimpered. "…That's just called murder with extra steps…"

Finally, Emilia timidly offered her bento box again. "…I-I'll just feed him so he doesn't faint."

The others glared, but Rei—eyes brimming with despair—clung to the bento like it was salvation itself.

"Emilia… you're my only sanity," he whispered.

[Warning: Statement detected.]

[Effect: Triggering 'Declaration of Sanity War, Round 2.']

[System Comment: And once again, you've dug your own grave. Bravo.]

Rei buried his face in the bento. "…I should've applied to Cow School."

Emilia's cheeks turned crimson at Rei's words. She fumbled with her chopsticks, almost dropping the tamagoyaki. "M-my only… sanity?!"

Her voice squeaked, the word echoing like a gunshot across the room.

Instant silence fell. The other wives froze in place, smiles twitching, halos flickering, claws retracting. For a single terrifying moment, Rei thought maybe, maybe, they wouldn't react.

Then Seraphina's halo cracked. "ONLY… sanity?" she repeated, her wings flaring like a storm about to obliterate a continent.

Drakana's tail smashed through a couch. "MATE… ARE WE INSANITY TO YOU?!"

Lilia placed her hand over her mouth, but her trembling smile was scarier than open rage. "How… amusing. Sanity is such a fragile concept. Perhaps I should surgically remove his delusions?"

Rosette calmly adjusted her ribbon. "Young Master… this is a betrayal of contractual equality. Clause 27 specifically states 'all affections must be distributed evenly.'"

Rei flailed in his ribbons. "I-I didn't mean it like that! She just—she gave me FOOD, okay?! Food is sanity!"

[System Notification: Damage Control Attempt: FAILED.]

[Result: Wives' collective jealousy value increased +9999.]

[System Comment: You've officially chosen death by carbs.]

Emilia looked like she wanted to melt into the floor. "I-I just… wanted to help…"

Outside the lounge, HusbandVision was still broadcasting the drama live. The magical screen zoomed in dramatically on Rei's tear-streaked face, then cut to Emilia's trembling hands holding chopsticks, then panned to the other wives radiating murderous auras.

The student body collectively screamed:

"EMILIA ROUTE CONFIRMED!"

"DEATH FLAG TRIGGERED!"

"LONG LIVE THE HUSBAND BATTLE ROYALE!"

Rei sobbed louder. "WHY ARE THEY CHEERING FOR MY EXECUTION?!"

[System Update: Campus Betting Pool on 'Which Wife Claims Rei First' has doubled.]

[Odds: Emilia – 3 to 1. Drakana – 5 to 1. Rosette – 10 to 1. Seraphina – 12 to 1. Lilia – 20 to 1.]

[System Comment: You're officially a gambling sport.]

Rei slumped forward against his chair restraints, muttering weakly. "I just wanted cows…"

The wives all leaned closer, their shadows falling over him like predators circling prey.

"Then let us herd you properly, husband," Lilia whispered sweetly.

Rei wailed into Emilia's bento, "I DON'T WANT TO BE LIVESTOCK!"

To be continued…