The Dance Of Love (RWBY/FATE)

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The sound of Mordred's footstep reverberate through the pathway to her home as she walk back from the docks.

Her face is red from how much she had cried and there are visible tear marks running down her red cheeks....

She walked as if there are a mountain ontop of her shoulders slowing her down.

She knows... she knows that life will be different now....

She don't want to accept it.. but she must accept it...

She... she doesn't want Jaune to leave.. but if he Jaune doesn't leave then he would not be able to achieve his dream.. and yet if he leaves, she.. she would be alone.. she wouldn't have him by her side anymore..

Damned if i do... damned if i don't.. that would be an apt description to summarized her situation for whatever decision she choosed, it would be bad for her either way.

At least... at least with Jaune leaving.... one of them could be happy...

She would not be happy, but if she not being happy is the price she had to pay for Jaune to achieve her dreams then it is a price she would choose every single time.

She stopped and stumble onto a tree on the side of the path and slid down on it.

"Ah..... it hurts..." she put a hand over her heart and start to pant.

"Why does it hurt..." she ponder onto herself and start to think about what could be happening to her.

"It.... it hurts so much...." tears start to stream down her face as she start panting.

"Hah.... hah.... hah..." she tried her best to breath but each breath fills like needle crawling down her lungs.

"Jaune...." all she can think of is Jaune and how he would know about what is happening to her....

'Jaune.. he... he would know... he's smart... Jaune...' she tried to stand up but she can't. 'Jaune... why didn't i push harder to go with you... i... i don't want you to leave without me.... Jaune.... please come back....'

"Ha... hah.... hah.... hah... hah..." she starts panting even more out even when she tried to breath normally, she cant.

She don't know what is happening to her right now.

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"Oh...." she blinked and clutch her chest even harder. "Is this.... am i having a panic attack.." she talked to herself completely dumbfounded at it.

Her heart is beating like a drum and she can feel being light headed from whatever chemical reaction is occuring in her body.

At this point she wouldn't be suprised if she open up her shirt and see her heart being fully visible with how much it beat against her ribs.

She can feel it on her hand trying to break out of her chest.

"Jaune.. he... he would know how to calm me down...." she tilt her head up to look at the night sky. "It.. it hurt Jaune... it hurt..."

She doesn't like any of this.. being.. weak... but this is the only time she could be... weak...

She would never show her family any of this.. she would never.. because she is strong.. she had to be strong.. if she's not strong then who is she....

She's not smart like Saphron...

She's not diligent or as disclipine as Artoria..

She's not gentle like Jeanne...

She's not joyful like Noir..

She's not shy like blancheur..

She's not a baby like Olivia..

Mordred is the strong one... the rebellious... the aggressive child of the Arc family... the one who will pick a fight with anyone...

But.. even with alk of that... she can be.. Mordred.. just Mordred with Jaune...

She had cried in front of him... break down in front of him... she could be.. herself infront of him..

Because she knows that her little brother doesn't see her as the rebellious Mordred Arc or the delinquent of the Family.

Jaune sees her as.. Mordred... his big sister.

He's the only one who had ever tried to understand her and get to know all of her.

The others.. they are her family.. she considered them as such... but they're not Jaune.

But even so... she doesn't ever want Jaune to see her this weak, not because of Shame.. or because she doesn't want to ruin her image as the Great Mordred Arc.

Its because if she show Jaune this before he left to go and achieve his dream... he would cut that dream in the bud so she could never be like this..

"I...hah... hah.... Jaune... He... he won't like seeing me like this.." she look over her body and forced herself to stand up even with how much her heart is beating against the inside of her chest.

"He... hic.." she started to sobbed as she lean on the tree so she wouldn't fall down on the ground again. "Hic!.. he would.. hic.. he would grab me and carry me.. hic! Home!"

She doesn't want to think anymore about how worried Jaune would be if he saw her like this! But she can't! She can't stop thinking about this!

"Jaune!" She shouted and slam her head on the tree. "Why! Why! Why! Why! Why! Why!!!!"

"Why!? I know it would be stupid! But why didn't i push harder to go with you Jaune!" She slams her head even harder on the tree.

"Its all because of him! Because of that fucker!" She grit her teeth and her chest feels like its about to burst open as burst of red electricity bounces off her body.

"If he didn't stand in your way! You wouldn't have to leave me here!" She slam her head even harder on the tree and it managed to topple it down.

"Fuck him! Fuck him, Jaune!" She raised her fist and punch her own face. "And fuck me for being too weak!"

She punch her face over and over again.

"If you" Boom! "Were" boom!" "Stronger" Boom! "Jaune wouldn't" Boom! "Had to" Boom! "Leave you!" Boom!

She punch herself over and over and over until her Aura breaks and she laid down on the ground in exhaustion.

"Fuck you.. Mordred.. if you were strong enough... you could fight off anyone who wanted to take Jaune back to this shithole." It may sounded like she is being too hard on herself.. but in her twisted logic born out of desperation.. this is the only way she could cope.. by putting the blame on someone..

And that someone is her and Miles.

"If you were fucking strong! No matter who that bastard sent to take Jaune away, you could beat them! You could give Jaune the life he wanted!" Mordred berated herself and raised a fist trying to punch herself again but her fist falls down weakly at her side because the consequence of breaking her Aura had sapped a lot of her strength, leaving her completely out of strength for the next few minutes.

"You! You! Could protect him! You could! You could!" Her eyes started to water again. "Fuck you! you weak fucking bitch! Fuck you!"

"And fuck him! Fuck him because if he never stopped you, you would go to beacon with me, Jaune!" She shouted even harder with only the woods as her listener.

"If only.... if only...." she close her eyes not wanting to cry anymore.

"Fuck..... Jaune.... please don't leave me..."

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