The Greatest Soul Fragment

It was there right before me, after two hours of hard I finally managed to reach the Gates of Selim. Tall golden arches with blue transparent wings and a ruby emblem of the Selim Horde now was the only thing between me and my journey.

Unfortunately, a line stretched endlessly before me, a sea of hopeful faces all waiting for their chance. I already had some delays due to an unfortunate incident, but this, this was too much.

So here I was standing in line for like an hour already.

"Next!"

'The waiting line progresses by one spot every 3 minutes or so, so I have roughly 5 minutes and 54 seconds to get back before it's my turn.' My face turned mischevious as I thought 'Now is my time'.

I turned behind "Erm, excuse me I'll be gone for a couple minutes so could you keep my place safe?" "Yeah sure, sure" "How kind of you wise sir."

And so I rushed with all the power in my knees straight for the restroom.

"Listen here, wise elder," I called through the door, trying to keep my voice steady despite my growing panic. "I respect your right to commune with nature, but I've got exactly three minutes before I lose my spot in line."

"Young man, patience is a virtue," came the wheezy reply.

"A virtue I don't have time for! The line's moving!"

"Back in my day, we waited days for a proper…"

"Oh please, spare me the 'back in my day' speech. You've been in there long enough to write your memoirs!"

"Such disrespect! In my time…"

"Just shit already you old fart!"—'I suppose this conversation escalated rather quickly.'

I decided to calm down since I still have some time left, I took a deep breath and held it as long as I could.

And so I waited.

And waited…

"…"

"You geezer if you don't leave now, I will barge in and personally scrape the shit off your ass!" "You DARE talk to an old soul like that!" "Who do you think you are?? Pope Bene-shit?" "These pretencious youngsters these days don't ever respect the elderly…" "Ohhh C'mon, on Merlins beard I swear to you that if you don't come out now I will tell the guards that you someone is being tortured inside and you'll stand there ashamed butt-naked" 'Technically the toilet is being tortured by his archaic turd'

"Next!"

'oh no no no my place' "Screw you geezer!" "Screw you!"

I rushed back into the line and slid in infront of the generous dude who said will hold my spot but I ran into his arm which honestly felt like a wall. "Ouch, it's me, don't you recognize me?"

"No who are you? hehe" He said with an idiotic grin.

"Come on, we just had such a meaningful conversation about... line ethics!"

"Line ethics?" His grin widened impossibly further.

"Yeah! You know, the sacred bond between line-holders? The unspoken code of spot-saving?"

"I'm the guy, you know… The one who asked… like a second ago"

"I have no idea who you are, but if you want to enter you better get in line" He pointed at the back of the line.

I already knew what was happening. I watched the guard's movements, calculating. 'Three hours of waiting versus one very rash decision.

"Noo amigo, we know each other, right?" "…" "Besides this line is like a three-hour wait"

"Oh I'm sure it's more like two and a half."

Time seemed to slow as I weighed my options. Behind me: three hours of waiting. Ahead: one very large man blocking my spot. To my left: a conveniently positioned guard. Sometimes the universe just hands you solutions.

"Next!"

In this situation, I did what any other rational human would do, and I pushed him at one of the guards of the gate.

"Hey what do you think are you doing" The guard yelled at him. "NO-no it wasn't me, it was that guy…" "…" "It was that…"

"Good morning on this beautiful sunny day" I said with the widest smile towards the admission personnel.

He looked at me as if he wanted to tell me off, but I guess intervening is above his pay grade "Please state your name and purpose."

"Luke."

"Last name?"

"Just... Luke. Like Madonna. Or Queen. But less glamorous."

"Right... and your purpose?" He said, clearly unimpressed.

"Would you believe me if I said world domination? No? Okay, trials it is."

"…" 'I think he's checking me out'

"Okay Luke… and your purpose" He said while handing me a broshure.

It felt heavy in my hand, filled with warnings and instructions I probably should read. But honestly it looked like a salesman trying to sell me penny stocks so I couldn't bother with it. Besides, what's the worst that could happen in a dream?

"I wish to walk the trials, and before you ask, this is my first time"

"Ugh right, so I'll explain everything but only once so listen carefully. When you take this pill you will feel slightly dizzy and pass out, so the helpers will transport you to the first room. If you don't wake up for more than an hour the paramedics will take care of you." "Mhm" "When you pass out you are going to see a light, approach that light and no matter what don't stay in the darkness, once you reach the light you will see a huge scale. Get on one of the two sides and after some time you will see your soul on the other side, it will tell you something that will be a hint to the type of your soul, here is all the other info that you'll need"

He at the broshure with a bunch of instructions, warnings and weird drawings.

"Yeah I basically understand… except the part with the scale." I said with an unconventionally proud face.

"Just take the pill and go to the light."

"Got it thanks" I said trying my best to feel sincere but what the hell was that about.

"Next!"

I walked through the gate, and I felt like a kid going into an amusement park. So refreshing. The faces of excited people, the smell of food and cotton candy, the air with a sweet taste of adventure. "I suppose that I should try the pill" I thought while looking at the tiny white pill that I held in my hand, and I pinched it down my throut.

Suddenly, my vision started to spin and I felt like my body got hit by a truck while my head separately by a falling anvil. Everything became blurry and dark and before I knew it I was in a dark room with no windows, or even walls, just endless darkness. Even so, I could see my body floating in the air like a ghost or something. "Hello!" "Hello" "hello"

'How can there be an echo without walls?' I wondered 'Never mind that, there is something I can see so shouldn't I check it out?' Before me was a small light shining brightly with the shape of an old scale. I took steps towards it but a voice interrupted my journey.

"Who are you?"

"Who am I? Who are YOU!?" I answered abruptly

"You tell me" The voice said

'This voice is clearly stupid' I thought 'But maybe it is the thing that the personnel was telling me about'

"I came here to do some soul thingy I guess"

"Ahh, In that case you're in the right place, come sit over here" He pointed to the other end of the scale "I think therefore I am, have you heard about that saying?"

"Is this going to be on the test?"

"The pursuit of knowledge is beyond mere testing—"

"So that's a no?"

"In any case, I shall begin by telling you about myself." I sighed…

"Whenever you have a thought, have you ever considered it not being real? The only thought's that you are certain of existance are doubts. You cannot doubt a doubt because it cancels each other out leaving only doubt."

"But couldn't I doubt your doubts?" I responded, though I didn't know if it really made sense or not

"As I said, you cannot doubt yourself. To doubt is to have a mind of their own, and I as such am your soul or consciousness as you may say, whom doubts in your place…"

He didn't finish his sentence where his voice faded with the sudden bang on his head.

"Oh why don't you stop muttering that nonsense of yours, Hey Luke it's nice finally meeting you, I'm Siri and this nutjob is Yore" A tall-dark-skinned absolute beauty finally interrupted the conversation.

"Who's the nutjob?" After saying that, Yore's face received a slap on the face from Siri.

"Wait, Siri? Like the iphone bot?"

"Do I look like I'd tell you the weather forecast?"

"Well, you're certainly more violent than my phone."

Another slap lands on Yore, who wasn't even speaking

"Why do you keep hitting me?!" Yore protested.

"Force of habit," Siri shrugged.

"What was that for?"

"Anyway I came all the way to see you and I can't say that I'm dissapointed. So did you…"

"Hellllo" I flinched through the shock of a dull voice behind me.

"When did you get here!" I yelled at the sad-dark-looking figure

"Ah right… This is Ruby." Siri pointed at the short lady with the gloomy face

A moment of silence followed the introduction of the third figure

"…"

"Hiiii there nice to meet you Ruby."

"Hellllo" She said with the same dull voice as before.

"As you see… she seems a little depressing. And doesen't talk much apart from hello" Siri said with a light grin of discust. "Unfortunately we don't have much time but we'll see each other in a while so don't worry"

My limbs gradually started disappearing so I called out once more "Nice meeting you Siri, Nutjob and… Ruby"

The illusion of the scale in the darkness started to fade, and as I was coming back to reality, I witnessed a refreshing slap on Yore's face.