The lycan queen

Recap;:-

At those moments when I wanted nothing more than to die, you gave me a reason to live, and that's the greatest gift I've ever gotten. So I'm sorry if I'm a bit crazy and annoying, it's just I care for you so much, and I don't know how to fully express it; hopefully this suffices. Thanks for being in my life and not leaving me when so many others have. You always have and always will be my other half. You are one of the greatest things to ever happen to me, and I can't wait for more adventures with you.

It is such a pity she forgot about these things, and chose to hate me because of a man after all we've been through.

Despite the pain and everything, I decided to let it all go, including her.

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Crya's pov:-

It's been exactly 5 days since our breakup was over, but I really can't help myself! She is on my mind 24×7. There are a lot of beautiful memories that are continuously striking in my mind. I just miss her so much. I can't tell all this to her because I don't want to burden myself on her. She was my only friend. The one I've always thought of leaving a new life with. I can't emotionally torture her to talk to me if she doesn't want to talk to me.

I've asked myself many times the 'why' and 'what did I ever do', but I always come up with no answers.

If someone offends you, shouldn't she apologize and at least give you an explanation, or so I thought because, in Sarah's case, it's the exact opposite.

She just chose to have her mate in her life over me. And for some reason she made sure I'll never be able to come back to Alpha Nolan's pack. The bottom line is I am banned from ever setting foot in their boundaries ever again.

My plan of leaving is still spot on, Jordan just makes it his business to always monitor me like a lion targeting his meal. I don't feel anything for him anymore. 

"Miss Crya Pareces perdido (you seem lost)" Mrs Grace, our foreign languages teacher who speaks many languages but chose to speak Spanish, called out to me.

I jerked from my thoughts before I answered. 

""No, señora (no ma'am)"she smiled at me with a reassuring smile and nodded for me to continue with my exam and I smiled back. Focusing on what I was writing. 

After class, I walked through the hallway to get to my locker, when I saw something. I looked closely only to discover a quora of Sarah, easily standing out.

Apparently, Sarah is running for the school president's office. I don't even know what she has become at this point. She was not one to get involved in politics, it was like she had changed into a different person.

She is here on quora. Every time I see her upvoting and answer or she being online, my hands start trembling and answering to text her. I opened her profile, typed a message, rub it off and then cried! Nobody knows how I control myself. It's just like Uuurrrghhhh!!!!! Why!??

I am wiping my tears right now while typing this answer. I've just cut off all contact with her as I now think that humans are only like that. They just leave you one day. So there's no point being so much attached to anyone. BECAUSE EVENTUALLY THEY'LL LEAVE US. AND THAT BLOODY HURTS!

I just wanted to let this out. So I wrote this answer. Because I don't want to say this to my known ones. AS THEY BLOODY JUDGE! AND MAKE ME FEEL WEAK AND HELPLESS.

I got to my locker only to find Jordan making out in front of it. I wished so hard at the moment that he'd forget who I was and stop hovering around me. I approached them and cleared my throat. When they didn't leave, I tapped Jordan on the shoulder and said "excuse me".

He looked at me like I had two horns before asking 

"Who are you?"

At that question, the definition of who I was stuck in my throat and all I could make was a sound instead of words.

"Weirdo" he mumbled still enough for me to hear it.

When he left, I felt so puzzled that I ended up asking myself "what the heck just happened".

"You wished he lost every memory of you, and he did". Aurora said at the back of my mind. When she finished her words, I just closed my locker door a little too hard and shouted out "what!?"

Everyone turned to look at me, some of which went back to what they were doing and others calling me names before facing back to what they were doing.

I simply waited till everything died down before asking Aurora what she meant. 

"It's as simple as a b c Crya, you wished he forgot you, and it happened."

"Wait, just because I wished it and it came through."

"No, I think there's a mechanism of action here."

"You think?"

" Let me think you're making so much noise"

I just laughed, opened my locker and continued looking for my book. My next exam is in an hour and my final papers are tomorrow. "I need to get ready" I inwardly told myself to pack my textbook into my bag. A piece of paper dropped on the floor. I bent down and picked it up. When I opened it I realized that the paper contained a letter of thanks that I wanted to give to Sarah on the last day of my day in school.

I opened intending to read through it, when I heard a happy laugh before she shouted "your hand!"

"Hmmmm, am lost"

"Your hand". I was about to ask the same question just to let her know I was still lost when she continued, "when you wished he'd forgotten about you, it didn't happen till you touched him, that's it"

" Wait, you're saying I have powers."

"I thought we cleared out that one a long time ago" she said sarcastically.

"Your first power, we know, is camouflage and color change. Now this, making people forget who you are"

For the first time in a long time, I danced, and not just any dance, but a happy dance. 

"What would you have done without me?"

"Nothing, I tell you."

"We will find a cooler name for it, but for now, just know we're cool."

I laughed inwardly, closed my locker and made my way to the next room for my exam. This will be the only exam I'll be writing with Sarah. Speaking of Sarah, I have to give her this letter, but she hasn't even look at me for the past few days now.

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Hey Sarah 

This is for you. I know that if you're reading this that probably means I've left the crescent moon pack, but don't worry, I'll always keep in touch.

Many times during the years I like to thank you for being my best friend, which means, I wrote a semi-long paragraph stating how grateful I am and how much I love you on any current social media platform that I used the most at that time. Although you appreciate the fact I mentioned you, I feel as if it's not enough, nothing will ever be enough to thank you. This letter is for you to once again tell you how lucky I am that I met you fourteen years ago.

You and I have been through it all, you've seen me at my best and my worst, and I've seen you at yours. We have fought with each other, and we have laughed with each other, cried with each other, and there is no one in this entire world that I rather have as my best friend than you. You've helped more than you will ever know. How lucky I was that you of all the people moved your stuff to the locker besides mine. It was like goddess knew we needed each other, and he literally left you at my doorstep.

There were a lot of times in my life where I wanted to give up on everything, but you would never let me. You gave me the push I needed to survive in this world. God gave me you, and the more years we spend as best friends the more I understand why he did.

Last year, your pack and our packs divided everything including the locker, and I was terrified that you would forget me. Ten minutes away - five if I speed, although to most that isn't too far from me, but to me not being able to turn to my right when I need you is too far. I helped you move out that day, holding back the tears that I might lose my best friend. I never told you this, but when you left, I sat on my stairs staring at your once so full of life locker sitting there empty, and I prayed we would stay close that no matter what, we would stay friends, because I felt like I needed you more than you needed me. Now that I think back, I feel stupid forever thinking you wouldn't stay by my side.

You are everything someone could ask for in a best friend. You have taught me so much to never be afraid and to know my worth in this world. When I was in the pit of my loneliness and depression, you made me see the light. So thank you, thank you for always believing in me. Thank you for all the laughs and all the tears, all the nights of gossip and being the open arms I need to run into when someone breaks my heart. Thank you for being you. I know that no matter where we are in this crazy world, you will always be by my side. Everyone needs that person in their life and you are my person.

Crya your crazy bestie ::: 

I've forgotten what I wrote in this letter because it has been over a month since I wrote it and I went through it again because I wanted to make sure I didn't do or say anything wrong that would make her hate me more.

I tore off the part that explains I'll be leaving soon. Knowing her, she must have forgotten about it by now.

I threw the paper at her, she smeared at me but I still gave her the little smile I could muster.

She turned to the paper, opened it and started reading. I don't know what I was expecting, but what I expected is totally different from what I am seeing. It took me a while, but I got the hang of it.

"Aurora quote me if I am wrong, but you can determine when a person hates you, right?"

"We not me, okay?"

"Okay" I answered. 

"So listen. Look very deeply. Study what you see reflected back at you. Do you see fire and brimstone? How about bullets and gun-smoke? Perhaps you see clouds and Unicorns! Well, if you see the Fire and Brimstone, back off, run away, run for your life! If you see bullets and gun-smoke, slowly walk backward, out of the room, out of the house, and out of their very yard, because they mean to murder you where you stand! If you see fluffy clouds and unicorns, take them in your arms, they are the love of your life!"

"And what is Sarah showing?"

"Fire and brimstone"

"Should I run?"

"You have an exam starting in 10 minutes."

"So?"

"So, stay. But far away from her the Sarah we know is gone." 

I felt a sting at the side of my eye, only to realize I was crying. I finally felt it again. Realizing she's really gone and there's nothing I can do, I only feel like a significant void in my life, a missing piece of my support system, leaving me with a sense of emptiness and a profound ache, as if a vital part of myself has been taken away, often accompanied by feelings of loneliness, grief, and a deep longing for shared experiences and intimate conversations i once had;