Chapter 469: Telling About The Dream
(From Blue's Perspective)
One day left till Dem would leave me again. I felt so anxious that I could not even enjoy the time with him in the worry of him leaving me.
"I don't know what might happen in case I would have to deliver the baby before the due time," I said anxiously as we sat together in the indoor garden. "I have too many things to worry about and this is just one of them. I have been thinking about it for a while. I mean, it can happen, right? We need to be prepared for anything."
"But you are perfectly fine now, my dearest wife. You would have shown some symptoms if that were the case. It only proves you will deliver our baby at the right time without any difficulty," he said.
I still could not calm down. I was just worried about everything these days. Even his sweetest remarks and assurances were not enough to stop me from being so negative. I despised this part of myself. But sometimes even the part I detested about myself was not easy to let go so easily.
"Why don't you write to your friends and talk to them openly about what you are feeling? They might help you," he suggested. "I have read in a book that pregnant women might feel anxious about every little thing."
"Are you saying pregnant women say weird things?" I asked.
"No, honey, I do not mean anything that sort," he said, shaking his head and taking my hands in his. As he squeezed them gently, he added, "I am simply stating that it might be good for your mental health to write and talk to your friend. Friends understand each other a lot better and they can cheer you up. Ruby is here. You can talk to her about anything. Write to the duchess.
Talk to your litter friends, Athena and Abel. Or, talk to Luc's parents, especially his mother. You are comfortable with her."
I nodded. I had not talked to Iris in a while and her kids. It was not because I did not want to talk to them. I just could find the encouragement. I wanted to write to them, but I had a feeling I was depressed. The things I loved did not enlighten me as much as before and sometimes, I felt quite lifeless and reasonless.
The cause of it was not fully known to me, as I was not so sure and confident as to point at a single reason.
"So, it is settled. When I leave, write to me about what you told them. I am not pressing you, just suggesting. So, do not think of it as a burden," he said. His voice was gentle and soothing and he tried to appear cheerful and carefree. However, I knew he was worried about me, just trying to conceal it from me.
He did not succeed. He could never. I knew him enough to figure it out. Every time he tried to hide something from me, I knew it. However, it was not all the time that I told him about it. Sometimes, I kept it to myself, to see what he would do next.
I would not have had the courage to do so if I had not known that at least, he was loyal to me. There was no other woman that he would love and go to except for me. That much was enough for me to not fret over the things he tried to hide from me.
"A few days ago, you told me about a coincidence," he started. It was the first time he had mentioned it since I had sent him the letter as a reply to his letter which contained his so-called illusion of seeing me. "Can you tell me about it again?"
I told him again. It was a subject that I was equally interested in as there was a possibility of discovering something new, something so very odd. This time, I wanted to conceal a part of my dream, or whatever it was, but I could not. It was possible when I wrote the letter and he was not near me. But this time, when he was right in front of me, I could not hide anything from him.
When I was done, he mumbled something under his breath.
"Say it. Don't murmur," I said. "I need to know it too if you know something by any chance. You must as you have known him for a long time. Is there anything about him that can make it possible?"
"Yes, I have known him for quite a long time. But I do not know about anything like this," he said. "He worked for me and his work contained killing, spying and that's all. Sometimes, he painted this and that, like that ceiling of the ballroom. But that's all. Nothing more.
He has an obsession with killing and he cannot calm down if he does not kill at least one person a day."
I got shivers as I thought about it. I knew it, but it still was a little unsettling. The fact that I was near a person like this was almost unbelievable. Only three years ago, I would have thought it impossible. At least, the shadow killed the ones who did badly, at least, he would kill Dem's enemies. But were all Dem's enemies bad people?
That could not be. That was not possible.
I tried to shake the thought out of my head. It was only distressing to me.
"We could have at least thought of him having that kind of power if something like this existed in the first place. I have never heard of something like this," he said.
"Right? I asked Evan and he said the same thing."
"Have you told King Ford about everything? About the shadow?" he asked, mortified.
"Of course not. Why would I do that?" I shrugged, surprised that he even thought of that. Did he not trust me enough? I did not ask him that though, as it might sound stupid, after two years of our marriage. "I just told him I had a dream like that and if it is possible. He said he never heard of a thing like this, exactly as you have said."