Harry Potter: The Witty Wizard

"Morning, princess," her father said while reading the Prophet.

That's when Harry noticed his own copy of the Daily Prophet was sitting, folded and ready, in his usual place.

"Hedwig let you take her delivery?" asked Harry.

"Yes, she was quite polite about it," replied Monica. "She always is when she deals with me."

"It's just you and, sometimes, me she has problems with, Harry," said Hermione, just before she had to smother a yawn.

Picking it up as Dobby deposited a large breakfast in his place setting, he saw that the retraction was printed right as the lead story. That surprised him. He expected it buried somewhere back within the 'section' news on tips of 'new' household charms for the harried home, the latest gnome repellent or doxie infestation killer.

That it was the lead story meant Ted must've really scared Cuffe witless.

As expected, the story was both an apology to Harry for 'being led astray by a manipulative, lying old man they once respected' (Dumbledore) and not 'properly verifying the information provided by their sources before going to print'.

However, it now left him in a bit of pickle. If he still didn't go to the Ball then the information would have been correct. However, he really had no desire, as he'd written in his letter to Dumbledore, to be anywhere near it.

When he voiced his concerns to Hermione, it was Wendell who'd come up with the solution.

"Write a letter to the Daily Prophet and inform them that, since they'd already pilloried you in their supposedly great publication for not attending the Ball when you didn't even know if the Ball was still going to be on or not, you decided to go ahead and make alternative plans," he suggested. "After all, if you were already in hot water for something you'd not yet done, why not be in hot water for actually doing it?"

Monica then added, "Then thank them for making the decision so much easier for you."

Harry gave a snort of amusement and said, "You two are evil. But... I love it!"

_‗_

―==(oIo)==―

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At the same time, but days later under time dilation, Frank and Alice Longbottom were now awake and at least reasonably conscious. And both were still terribly weak. Both were lying in modern hospital beds that were only far enough apart for one reasonably slender person to walk between them. And both were now reclining propped up in their beds with thick pillows used to hold them up.

When a Healer in Gringotts healer robes walked in, Frank immediately asked in a croaking voice, "Where are we? What's going on?"

"Good morning," the Healer replied. Placing a small potion vial on each of their bed tables next to their hands, he replied, "That's a calming potion. If either of you feel yourselves getting upset, you are to immediately take it. We don't want you undoing the repair work we've been putting you through to get your health back up."

"Enough of the Healer-speak," said Frank. "Answer the bloody questions!"

After first giving Frank the 'You're being a naughty boy' look, the Healer replied, "You are currently in a time dilation chamber inside Gringotts, London. You have been in a curse-induced near comatose state for a very long time. You feel as poorly as you do now because of that.

"You were brought here under orders from Lord Harrison Potter, using his authority for providing aid to a member House of the Potter-Longbottom Alliance for one House to provide aid to another, approximately four to five hours ago in real time.

In case that surprises you, Lord Potter attained his majority at the age of fourteen."

"Fourteen?" exclaimed Alice. "Lord Potter... You mean little Harry?"

"Yes, Ma'am," he replied. "Lord Harrison Potter. Because of inaction directed towards you being healed by the Regent of the House of Longbottom, Dowager Lady Augusta Longbottom, Lord Potter had you quietly and secretly taken from Saint Mungo's and brought here. Because of her inaction to date, she was not informed.

"You had been in the Janus Thickey Ward of Saint Mungo's for over thirteen years. In that time, other than keeping you comfortable, nothing worthwhile had been done to rectify your condition. Lord Potter, once he attained his majority only a few months ago, stepped in and quietly made arrangements. We had you cured of the curse within minutes. And have been bringing you slowly back to full health since then.

"Under time dilation it has been just over two days. Outside, it has been a tad over four hours. Time dilation is running at twelve to one. For every twelve days in here, one day will pass outside. The set time for the time dilation is three days, or seventy two hours. In that time we will have attained thirty-six days dilated.

"In that time we will be bringing you both back to full health so that, when you leave here, you'll be able to walk out on your feet and fit for what you will face. Someone will be waiting for you when you exit at the end of that time to see to your immediate needs.

"You are both to take the calming potion now, please," he said.

Both Longbottoms were visibly agitated. And both realised they were, so took the potions.

Once the healer saw it was taking effect, he then handed Frank the large thick envelope he had in his hand.

"I'm led to believe this is a letter from Lord Potter, where he explains to you what is going on and why he has taken the action he has," said the healer. "I'll leave you to go through it and be back in about thirty minutes with your breakfasts."

As he watched the man walk back out of the small room they were in, Frank broke the seal on the envelope and slid the parchment within out.

Carefully, he began to read the top page.

"Thirteen years, Frank?" asked Alice. "Thirteen Years?"

"I know, Alice," he replied. "I'm hoping this letter will give us the answers to that. It's certainly thick enough."

_‗_

―==(oIo)==―

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At Saint Mungo's, Augusta Longbottom was currently in the Director of Hospital's office tearing verbal strips off the man.

"I don't care for your excuses!" she screamed, red in the face. "My son is supposed to be in your care! He and his wife! It is your responsibility to keep him... them... safe! I bloody well pay you enough to do so!"

The three-quarter frazzled man sat behind his desk with his wand out and held below the bottom edge of his desk - just in case. "Madam Longbottom," he tried, "As I've assured you over and over again, we are doing everything we can and could do to find out what happened.

"The aurors are currently going over every inch of the ward and surrounding areas to find out how it is your son and daughter-in-bond could have disappeared from a secure ward.

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