Like Deadpool in the DC Universe.

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In an unknown place… No sky, no ground, nothing but an infinite, blinding whiteness. In the middle of this void, a body lay motionless. Gradually, it began to stir… A hand slowly lifted, fingers twitching, then a pained, frustrated groan echoed through the endless emptiness.

Morris Blade (groaning, faintly): "Oh… fuck pancakes and Tony's dick, I feel like I hugged the Hulk, got flirted with by Thanos, and then slow-danced romantically with Thor's hammer… Holy shit, what the hell happened?"

His eyes slowly opened as he lifted his head to look around, but all he saw was pure, unending whiteness. No walls, no ceiling, not even a shadow. He blinked several times, looking at his hands, then the ground, then back at the infinite white horizon… He shook his head and closed his eyes again.

Morris Blade: "No, no, no… I am NOT ready for Marvel's personal version of hell. Where's the fire? Where are the demons? Where's the goddamn metal music that plays during eternal suffering? And more importantly… why the fuck can't I feel my balls?"

He remained silent for a moment before pushing himself up unsteadily, placing his hands on his hips and glancing around, trying to make sense of the situation.

Morris Blade (focusing): "Wait… infinite whiteness, no doors, no windows… Am I in Deadpool's mind?"

He started walking slowly, lifting his foot cautiously as if the ground might disappear beneath him at any second. Then, he stomped the floor a few times.

Morris Blade: "Okay, no weird gravity, no black holes, no creepy whispers trying to convince me to kill everyone… at least not yet."

He paused, placing a hand on his chin in deep thought.

Morris Blade: "Is this… heaven? Nah. Is this… hell? Possibly. Is this… just a dream? Maybe. Or is this just another Marvel scenario where I get resurrected in the most nonsensical way possible? So many fucking possibilities!"

Crossing his arms, he looked around the void, then suddenly cupped his hands around his mouth as if holding an invisible microphone, pretending to speak to an unseen camera.

Morris Blade (dramatic announcer voice): "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the latest season of How to Die and Come Back Like a Fucking Comic Book Character?! Today, we have a special guest… ME! But don't worry, I won't make it easy for you, because even I have no damn clue what the fuck is going on, and this one-balled writer refuses to explain anything!"

He laughed to himself, but his laughter suddenly stopped as he heard something strange—an echo, but not a normal one. It rippled unnaturally through the void. Raising an eyebrow, he glanced around suspiciously.

Morris Blade (whispering to himself): "Wait… if this void is supposed to have nothing… then who the fuck is laughing?"

His eyes narrowed before he smirked slightly, as if realizing things were about to get even weirder.

Suddenly, a voice—no, not just a voice—an all-encompassing, cosmic presence thundered through the void. It wasn't just sound; it was as if the universe itself was speaking, deep, powerful, reverberating through his very mind.

The Voice: "Oh, Morris Blade… You truly are fascinating! You have accomplished what no one else has in the Marvel universe. Heroes and villains, united against you alone? Unprecedented chaos! Absolute mayhem! You were magnificent!"

Morris Blade, who had been absentmindedly running his fingers through his hair as if he wasn't paying attention, suddenly paused. He raised an eyebrow, looked around warily, and sighed.

Morris Blade: "Great, great… now I've got invisible voices talking to me. Is this a new level of insanity? Because if I'm gonna hallucinate, I'd rather start hearing Deadpool. At least he would fucking understand me!"

The voice didn't care about his sarcasm; it continued with excitement.

The Voice: "No, no, this isn't delusion! I am completely real! And I'm here just to thank you, to express my deepest gratitude for what you've done!"

Morris Blade (pointing at himself in confusion): "Me? Gratitude? Wait, are you sure you're talking to the right person? Because I'm literally the last guy anyone would thank. Ask Marvel—literally everyone wants me fucking dead!"

The Voice: "Exactly! And that's what makes your achievement so great! You ignited absolute chaos, you shattered the balance, you made every single person in the Marvel universe lose their damn minds just to stop you! I loved watching you!"

Morris Blade went silent for a moment, then rubbed his temples as if the sheer amount of bullshit he was hearing was giving him a headache.

Morris Blade: "Alright, alright. First of all, who the hell and heavy metal are you? Second, why do you sound like a rich kid with daddy issues watching a YouTube channel titled 'Top 10 Greatest Marvel Fights and Blade's Deaths'? And third, most importantly… are you gonna let me go, or am I stuck here talking to some invisible entity with an unknown-sized asshole for eternity? Because I have a long-ass list of insults I'd really love to unleash right now!"

The Voice (chuckling softly): "Oh, I love your style! But don't worry, you'll understand everything in due time. Just know this—what you did was magnificent… and I want to give you a new chance."

Morris Blade placed his hands on his hips, tilting his head slightly as if in thought.

Morris Blade: "A new chance? Oh, oh, wait! Is this that classic scene where I get a choice—stay here forever or return to life in some completely nonsensical way? Because I've seen this scene hundreds of times in movies, TV shows, and anime. Give me a second… Ah, yep! Exactly the same scene!"

The voice laughed again, but this time, there was something more cryptic about its tone.

The Voice: "But the difference, Morris… is that you won't be returning to the same place. You'll be going somewhere entirely different. A new world."

His eyes narrowed slightly, a wicked smirk curling onto his lips.

Morris Blade: "Ohhh, okay, okay… now this is getting exciting. But before I agree, I have one last question…"

He paused, then looked straight up as if staring directly at the source of the voice.

Morris Blade: "Are you an actual god, or just some bastard born in a whorehouse messing with my world like a kid playing a fucking video game? Because I really need to know if I can punch you in the face later."

The voice erupted into laughter, as the void around him shimmered brighter, as if something huge was about to happen.

The grand voice lowered slightly, as if giving Blade a moment to process the situation, then spoke again in the same commanding tone.

The God: "I will send you to the DC Universe… but you will not go as you are now. I will grant you a power of your choosing, and this will be your one and only chance. Choose wisely, Morris Blade."

Morris Blade, still standing with one hand on his hip, tilted his head in thought… then suddenly raised his eyebrows and smirked.

Morris Blade: "Ohhh, okay, okay… so I get to choose a power? Can I, like, get Superman's powers? Or—OH! What about Batman's?! I know he technically has no powers and is just a spoiled rich kid, but damn, I wouldn't mind being a billionaire with badass gadgets… isn't that enough of a superpower?"

The god didn't respond, making Blade feel a little bored.

Morris Blade: "No? Alright, alright… what about Deadpool's powers?!"

This time, a heavy silence filled the void. Blade didn't expect a response, but suddenly, he heard something different in the god's tone… as if this wasn't planned… as if there was hesitation, just for a brief moment, before the answer finally came.

The God: "...…Yes. You will receive Deadpool's regeneration."

Blade froze for a moment, then his mouth opened slightly, as if his brain had just crashed.

Morris Blade: "...Wait. Wait just a goddamn second… Did you just say Deadpool's regeneration?!"

Suddenly, something strange surged through his body. A bizarre energy flooded his very being, his skin started to glow in an unnatural hue, as if his entire existence was being rewritten to match what he had just been granted!

His whole body burned—but not like a normal human would burn… No, this was different. It felt like every single cell in his body was being rebuilt, as if death itself had just been rendered meaningless to him.

And then, just as suddenly as it began, it stopped. Everything went silent.

Blade stood there, breathing heavily, before raising his hand in front of his eyes and staring at it.

Morris Blade: "...Oh… what the fuck… I'm fucking immortal now… just like that red dumbass!"

He slowly turned, looking back into the void as if searching for something specific… then raised an eyebrow with a smirk.

Morris Blade: "Alright, alright… just so we're clear here—does this mean I'm exactly like Deadpool?"

The god didn't answer this time. Silence was the only response he got.

Morris Blade: "...Well, that's fucking reassuring. I swear, if I end up with a shriveled-up cock and a death kink like him, I'm going to be so pissed. But at least now I have a better chance of surviving."

The God: "Oh, right! Before you go, can you pass along my regards to DC's god? Tell him the Supreme Being sent you for this."

Before Blade could even get a single word out, energy exploded around him. He flipped off the god one last time before a vortex of light swallowed him whole… and when he opened his eyes again…

He was in an entirely new world.

Blade's eyes opened slowly… but all he saw was darkness.

"Did I die? Is this the afterlife? Am I in my own personal hell?! Oh, shit—what if the afterlife is just a dark, damp place that smells like fish?!"

But before he could spiral into existential crisis, he noticed something else… something heavy was pressing against his face.

Something soft… but also pinning him down.

Morris Blade (his voice muffled under the weight): "Hmmmfph! This is not great… I can't fucking breathe… Wait a second… this isn't fish, is it?!"

Before he could even lift a hand, a sudden scream erupted from above him—followed by intense pain in his skull as a fist came slamming down on his head over and over again!

"BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!"

???? (angrily): "You bastard! How dare you do that?!"

Another hit to his head! Then suddenly, the weight lifted off his face—but before he could even raise his head, a brutal kick slammed into his side.

Morris Blade (groaning, clutching his side): "Ooooh! Fantastic! I actually made it to DC?! I didn't think their welcome committee would involve free punches! I mean, I was expecting a red carpet, or at least a free burg— Wait… what the hell is that smell?"

He finally lifted his head, sniffing the air like a bloodhound before furrowing his brows seriously.

Morris Blade: "...I smell fish… Did someone bring fish here? I swear I smell fish… No, no, wait, maybe it's rotten tuna? Hmm, maybe—"

He finally took in his surroundings… and saw exactly who was standing before him.

The entire Teen Titans.

Robin stood at the front, his face filled with pure rage, fists clenched so tightly it looked like he was about to murder someone… Meanwhile, Raven stood off to the side, her face completely flushed red… And the rest? A mess of shock, tension, and absolute confusion.

Beast Boy (whispering to Cyborg): "Dude… is this guy sniffing for fish?"

Cyborg (whispering back): "I dunno… but he just took a kick to the face and got up like it was nothing!"

Meanwhile, Starfire stared at him curiously, tilting her head slightly, as if trying to analyze what the hell kind of creature she was looking at.

Robin (yelling): "Who are you?! And how did you get here?!"

Blade, still trying to piece together what the fuck was happening, looked at all of them, then around the area, before breaking into a wide grin and raising his hands like he was on some kind of reality show.

Morris Blade: "Ooooooh! What a twist! I crash-landed right into the middle of the Teen Titans! Amazing! Amazing! Where are the cameras? Is this some kind of social experiment? Is Ashton Kutcher about to pop out and tell me I got pranked? No? No? Alright then…"

He paused for a moment, snapping his fingers like he just remembered something, then suddenly pointed at Raven—whose face was still completely red.

Morris Blade: "Wait a second… why does your face look like a goddamn tomato?"

Raven's eyes widened in panic before her blush somehow intensified, and she quickly pulled her cloak over her face to hide completely.

Robin, on the other hand, only grew angrier, stepping forward with his fists clenched tighter than before.

Robin (furious): "I said, who are you?! And how did you get here?!"

Blade raised an eyebrow, then slowly turned his head toward the reader, whispering.

Morris Blade (to the reader): "Oh, looks like we've got ourselves a classic angry leader moment… I bet you anything he's gonna start threatening me in five… four… three…"

Before he could even finish his countdown—

Robin (yelling furiously): "If you don't answer right now, I'll make you wish you never ended up here!"

Blade turned back to the reader, grinning triumphantly.

Morris Blade: "Oh, I knew it! I called it!"

Then, he turned to Robin, placing a dramatic hand over his chest.

Morris Blade: "The name's Blade… Morris Blade… Professional assassin, genius strategist, illegally handsome man, and now… the unexpected visitor to your lovely world! So… do I get a welcome party? No? Alright, what about pizza at least?"

Everyone just stared at him, like he had just escaped from a mental asylum… Meanwhile, Robin clenched his staff tighter, ready to strike.

Before Robin could land a hit, Starfire suddenly interrupted, raising her hand as she hovered slightly in the air, her eyes filled with curiosity.

Starfire: "Wait a moment, before we commence the destroying… I have questions!"

Everyone turned to her in confusion as she placed a hand on her chin, thinking for a moment before speaking again.

Starfire: "Where do you come from? And why do you not have any bruises after all those attacks? And how is your nose not broken from the kick?!"

Everyone waited for his answer—even Robin, despite his rage, seemed to want to know the secret behind it…

But Blade?

Blade just grinned… A wide, wicked, completely insane grin.

Then, without a word, he turned around and slowly started walking toward one of the corners of the room—where Cyborg had set up some defensive traps.

The Titans exchanged nervous glances.

Beast Boy (whispering to Raven): "Uh… what's he doing?"

Raven (whispering back, watching him with concern): "Something stupid, probably."

And sure enough, after just a few more steps—he stopped at a very specific spot… and…

"CLICK!"

Everyone heard the distinct sound of a trap activating, and suddenly—a medium-sized automated turret emerged from the wall, spinning up with a terrifying speed!

Robin (panicked): "STOP! That's a defense turret!"

But Blade didn't move… He just stood there, arms spread open, as if challenging it.

Morris Blade: "Come on, surprise me! Let me show you why I'm fucking awesome!"

And without any warning, the turret opened fire—a rapid hail of bullets ripping through his body!

Beast Boy screamed in shock, Starfire gasped, covering her mouth, and Robin moved to stop the attack—but the bullets were too fast.

Blade collapsed to the ground, his body riddled with bullet holes, blood spreading around him…

The entire room fell into dead silence.

The Titans just stood there, frozen in pure disbelief.

Even the turret itself stopped, its ammunition spent, slowly retracting back into the wall.

But before anyone could say a word…

"Oooooooh my fucking GOD! Oooooooh you sadistic son of a bitch-loving piece of shit…!"

Everyone froze in place, watching in shock as Blade suddenly moved, gripping his bullet-riddled body, lifting his head, and—

—screaming his lungs out, cursing the turret with every profanity imaginable.

Morris Blade (writhing in pain): "You fucking turret! You worthless piece of scrap metal! Fuck you! Fuck whoever built you! Fuck bullets! Fuck the invention of firearms! Fuck physics! Fuck Newton! Fuck this entire goddamn universe!!"

As the Titans remained in a state of absolute shock, his body began healing—at an insane speed.

The bullet holes sealed up.

The blood vanished.

The torn flesh regenerated like it had never been damaged.

Within seconds, he was back on his feet… as if nothing had happened.

Robin just stared at him, eyes wide as hell, while Beast Boy and Cyborg were rubbing their eyes, as if trying to convince themselves they weren't hallucinating.

Beast Boy: "Wait… what?!"

Cyborg: "That's… impossible… even for our world!"

Meanwhile, Raven remained silent, but she closed her eyes for a moment… as if using her magic to analyze whatever the hell he was.

And Starfire?

She slowly floated toward him, staring at him with wide eyes.

Starfire: "That… that was unnatural! How did you do that?!"

Blade, still pissed at the turret, took a deep breath—then suddenly grinned with absolute confidence, placing his hands on his hips.

Morris Blade: "Well… I just wanted to prove a point… and I think I fucking did!"

Then, he turned his head toward Robin—who was still frozen in place.

Morris Blade: "Oh, right! You were about to attack me, weren't you? Come on, baby! Hit me with your best shot, I'll give you another chance!"

Robin couldn't even form a response…

Meanwhile, Beast Boy leaned closer to Cyborg and whispered.

Beast Boy: "Dude… this guy… is scarier than Slade himself."

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If you liked the story and want to read more

or just to support me, copy the link below.

You will find a special membership for:

4 chapter

 and another one for:

7 chapters.

https://patreon.com/zakx205?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink