Like Deadpool in the DC Universe.

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After the atmosphere calmed down a bit (though Robin still looked like he was about to explode from anger), Blade suddenly remembered the god's words before sending him to this world…

"You must choose a side… or you will perish."

Blade smirked, a devilish idea forming in his mind.

Morris Blade (whispering to the reader): "You know… I was planning to play both sides… but why not try something new this time?"

Then, he slowly turned, looking directly at Robin, who was still on high alert.

Morris Blade: "Alright, alright, alright… I think it's time to make a decision! And you, oh mighty legacy of a great family—Robin—I think you're going to like what I'm about to say!"

Robin narrowed his eyes, not trusting a single word that came out of this man's mouth.

Robin (cautiously): "What are you talking about?"

Blade took a step forward, placing a hand on his chin as if he was in deep thought.

Morris Blade: "I've decided that I will be… hmm, how do I say this in a dramatic way?"

He paused for a moment, then suddenly pointed at himself with both hands in a theatrical gesture.

Morris Blade: "I will be your trump card, your ultimate force, your secret weapon that no one will see coming! In short… I want to join you!"

Silence.

Everyone froze in place.

Robin just stared at him, his expression unreadable, but the doubt in his eyes was obvious.

Robin: "Why would we accept you?"

Blade's grin widened as he tilted his head slightly.

Morris Blade: "Because, my dear friend, I am not just some ordinary fighter… I am a goddamn unstoppable force! Picture this… an enemy that can't die, someone who can take on suicidal missions, infiltrate any base, face any threat from a dude born a man and later decided to ride the rainbow… And me?"

He placed a hand on his chest, as if basking in his own magnificence.

Morris Blade: "I am that enemy… but on YOUR side!"

Everyone started glancing at one another… There was a flicker of interest on Cyborg's face, Beast Boy seemed to be processing the idea, while Raven… looked completely unconvinced.

Beast Boy: "I mean… he's got a point…"

Cyborg: "He could be useful, but we can't just trust him that easily."

Robin didn't move, still unconvinced.

Robin: "What's stopping you from betraying us later?"

Blade laughed, then turned to face the reader once again.

Morris Blade (whispering to the reader): "Oh, he's a smart guy with deep-rooted psychological issues… loves playing it safe like those cowardly Dark Souls players… Alright then, time for an emotional assault!"

He turned back to Robin, this time with a slightly more serious expression.

Morris Blade: "Robin… we live in a dangerous world… a world filled with powerful enemies… Joker, Darkseid, Lex Luthor… even your mom if she turned evil! And between you and me, your team is great, but you're missing something..."

He raised a finger, pointing at all of them.

Morris Blade: "You're missing… a man who isn't afraid to do what must be done, someone willing to cross the line, someone who can fight using… unheroic methods. And I am that man."

Robin said nothing… but he was thinking. And that was exactly what Blade wanted!

Beast Boy raised his hand excitedly.

Beast Boy: "Okay, I'm with him! He's fun, he can survive a goddamn turret, and that's pretty awesome!"

Cyborg stroked his chin, analyzing the idea, while Raven stared at Blade for a long moment before finally speaking for the first time in a while.

Raven: "You're chaotic… and that could be a huge problem."

Blade turned to her and smirked arrogantly.

Morris Blade: "And you, my dear fish-scented goth, look like you could use a little chaos in your life!"

Raven's face instantly turned red, but she quickly hid it under her cloak!

Robin exhaled deeply, then looked at Blade again, still not entirely convinced, but the idea of having an unkillable fighter was tempting…

Robin: "I'll think about it… but if you cause any problems, I'll be the first to stop you."

Blade grinned widely and extended his hand for a handshake.

Morris Blade: "My dear friend, don't worry! This is going to be one hell of an adventure!"

Robin stared at his hand for a moment… then completely ignored it and walked past him.

Blade raised an eyebrow and looked at the reader again.

Morris Blade (whispering to the reader): "Well, I didn't expect a handshake from someone whose personality is as stiff as a dick stuck in a bottle anyway… but hey, he didn't say no, did he?!"

While everyone was still processing Blade's presence among them, Raven suddenly froze in place. Her violet eyes widened in horror, as if she had just witnessed a living nightmare.

She clutched her head as waves of dark energy pulsed uncontrollably from her body.

Raven (voice trembling): "No… this is impossible… I can feel him… I can feel his power… My father… Trigon… is coming back to destroy the world!"

Everyone froze in place—even Robin, who looked like the blood in his veins had turned to ice.

Cyborg and Beast Boy exchanged nervous glances, while a faint flame ignited on Starfire's body, ready for battle.

And Blade? Oh… Blade had entirely different thoughts.

He slowly turned—not to Raven, not to Robin, not even to the impending demonic doom… but to Cyborg.

He stared at him for a moment… then placed a firm hand on his metallic shoulder, his eyes filled with fiery excitement.

Blade (comically serious voice): "Cyborg… my handsome iron-clad friend… I have a simple request for you."

Cyborg raised an eyebrow, confused.

Cyborg: "Huh? What?"

Blade leaned in closer, as if he were about to confess some world-shattering secret.

Blade (dramatic whisper): "I need a groom..."

Cyborg froze, while the others looked at each other, completely baffled.

Robin (confused): "What?!"

But Blade wasn't done—his tone grew even more serious.

Blade: "Not just any groom… the perfect groom. Sturdy, tech-savvy… because I need a wedding suit. You see, my damn outfit looks like the body of a man who's been in a very committed relationship with bullets! And also… my bride needs swords and guns—lots of them. We need a wedding bathed in blood, filled with romance, explosions, and live ammunition!"

Everyone stared at him as if he had completely lost his mind (as if he ever had one to begin with), while Blade turned to face the reader, winking.

Blade (whispering to the reader): "Honestly? I wouldn't mind wearing a wedding dress… but it must have lots of pockets for ammo. Let's be realistic!"

Cyborg finally processed what he had just heard, throwing his hands up in shock.

Cyborg: "Wait a damn minute—WHAT kind of crazy-ass technology talk is this?!"

Beast Boy burst into laughter, while Starfire looked like her brain had just crashed from the sheer absurdity.

And Raven? Oh, Raven was on the verge of losing her mind—but for a much more pressing reason.

For the first time, she actually raised her voice.

Raven: "ARE YOU ALL SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?! We are on the brink of WORLDWIDE DESTRUCTION, and you're talking about WEDDINGS?!"

Blade turned to her and shook his head in mock disappointment.

Blade: "Ah, Raven, Raven, my dear, floating fish… The problem is that you're thinking too small… War, devastation, the end of the world… that's all normal! But have you ever tried fighting demons in a pure white wedding dress, soaked in blood, with a shotgun in one hand and a sword in the other? No? Trust me—indescribable feeling!"

Raven groaned, rubbing her forehead as she exhaled sharply—desperately trying to stop herself from blasting him with a surge of black magic.

Robin pinched the bridge of his nose, desperately trying to regain control of the situation.

Robin: "Blade… please, stop talking about weddings and bullets… and focus! Trigon is coming, which means we might be facing the literal end of the world!"

Blade paused for a moment, pretending to think deeply before flashing his usual grin.

Blade: "Alright, alright, I get it… We'll postpone the wedding until after the total apocalypse, but I want a promise… I want a giant cake when this is all over!"

Robin smacked his forehead while the rest of the team exchanged looks—meanwhile, the demonic catastrophe was seconds away from unfolding.

Blade raised his hands and took a deep breath, as if preparing to deliver an official wedding speech.

Blade (mock-dramatic voice): "Ooooooh, hold on! Hold on! Boys, girls, and dear Robin, who's always tense like a goddamn worm drowning in the ocean… take a breath, chill out, and look at this from another angle! I wasn't talking about an actual wedding! No, no, no—although, the thought of me in a wedding dress, sprinting across a battlefield with a giant cake strapped to my back, is pretty damn brilliant… but sadly, that's not what I meant!"

He raised a finger like a chaotic professor about to deliver a physics lecture.

Blade: "I need a protective suit! A suit that can withstand demonic strikes, bullets, and Robin's soul-crushing negativity!"

Robin crossed his arms, staring at him in disbelief, while Beast Boy was barely holding in his laughter.

Robin (grumbling): "You really didn't have to make it sound like you were looking for an actual husband."

Blade (raising an eyebrow smugly): "Oh really? My bad, Robin—I didn't realize you were a certified expert in love and marriage! Tell me, how's your romantic life going? Oh, wait… you don't have one! Probably because you were raised by a man with crippling family issues."

Beast Boy collapsed onto the floor, howling with laughter, while Starfire covered her mouth, trying to suppress a giggle. Raven… well, Raven was seriously considering incinerating Blade on the spot.

Blade (continuing as if he hadn't just triggered Robin into a fit of rage): "Also, I need two guns and two swords… because fighting without firearms and sharp steel is like eating pizza without cheese. Can you do it? Yes. Will it be a great experience? No. Will I make your life hell if you deprive me of my weapons? Absolutely!"

Cyborg finally put the pieces together, sighing as he slapped his metal palm against his forehead.

Cyborg: "So all of this was just a ridiculous buildup to asking for weapons and armor?!"

Blade's grin widened as he pointed at him enthusiastically.

Blade: "BAM! Exactly, my iron-clad groom! See how I turn simple requests into cinematic masterpieces? It's a natural talent, I can't help it!"

Raven closed her eyes, fighting the overwhelming urge to curse him into oblivion.

Raven (grumbling): "If we don't hurry, we won't have time to prepare anything… my father is arriving soon!"

Blade simply shrugged, placing his hands on his hips as he looked at everyone with absurd confidence.

Blade: "Excellent! Then let's turn this wedding—I mean, battle—into the grandest spectacle ever! Get my suit ready, arm me to the teeth, and bring me a goddamn flaming cake… because when I start shooting bullets and slicing heads, I want to feel like I'm at a party!"

Robin took a deep breath, trying to summon the last ounce of patience left in his soul.

Robin: "Alright… Cyborg, can you give him what he needs? Let's just get this over with before one of us actually loses their mind."

Cyborg frowned as he looked at Blade, who was grinning like a kid in a toy store… filled with explosives.

Cyborg: "Oh, I'll give him the weapons… but I'm not guaranteeing he won't get himself killed in the first five minutes."

Blade clutched his chest dramatically, gasping.

Blade: "Ooooooh, Cyborg, you do care about me! Finally, someone who acknowledges how important it is for me to stay alive! Come here, let me hug you!"

Cyborg raised a hand in warning.

Cyborg: "For the record… if you don't shut the hell up, I will turn you into the gun we use against Trigon!"

As the team prepared for the impending war, Blade remained standing, turning toward the reader with a wide grin.

Blade (whispering to the reader): "Alright, dear readers, the stakes are high, the goddamn guns are coming, and I'm about to get my fancy suit… What will happen when Blade faces the biggest, baddest demon in existence? Will he survive? Will he cause an unintentional explosion? Or, most importantly… will he finally get his flaming cake? And hey… will he actually get a groom? Stick around to find out!"

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If you liked the story and want to read more

or just to support me, copy the link below.

You will find a special membership for:

4 chapter

 and another one for:

7 chapters.

https://patreon.com/zakx205?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink